This Day of Cairns (Zappy Birthday)

Fresh face to San Francisco comedy, I enter into the House of Shields. Low illumination, chatty Kathies, Amazonian bartenders: it was like walking fresco painting. In the balcony Kris Tinkle’s head bobbed up and down, setting up the microphone. Upstairs Irene shifted through notes while unholstering her camera. There were very few anybodies up there: the showrunners, maybe three audience members, and some comedians I hadn’t grown to know. One said comedian was Mr. David Cairns.

I immediately liked David’s comedy because it was spilling over with self-reflection while the act was continuing. Basically David creates a lot of asides and prefaces before he would get to the punchline, weaving in and out with pitch control and inflection that made everything he said funny to me. [David Cadence] Hey you guys. His brother wasn’t allowed to hear the song “Tequila” by. The Champs because of uh, his mother, thought it warp his mind. So instead, she would go “Duh-duh-duh/duh-duh-duh-duh-Duh-Duh/duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh-duh-Duh/duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh-duh-Duh-Duh/duhduhduhduhduhduh SPAGHETTI!” [/David Cadence]. Excellent.

After the show we both traded pats on the back.

Next week David brings a ukulele. He sings a mumbling version of Spoon’s “Underdog”. I laugh hysterically.

After the show we traded pats on the back.

That would happen quite frequently, and I always looked forward to it. David would bring something extremely different every time he went onstage and I would love it. I met a very kindred spirit, very early on, and it really inspired me to do better. To put it on an extremely nerdy level, David is my Sasake, a natural who keeps getting better that I’m constantly chasing.

David is quickly becoming a legend because legends can only be experienced fully first hand; the rest are just whispers. I can’t fully convey David’s set at the Brainwash where he roleplayed a blind-deaf man for the duration of the night for a five minute set. There’s no counting how many laugh loops have sprung from a Cairns cognition: scissoring buttholes, Spider-Man Around the World, minimal mimes…

(Note: Laugh loop is when one person laughs really hard. This triggers laughter from somebody else. Then the original laugher laughs at the second laugher’s laughter and so on and so on).

David is constantly bubbling, constantly at a play, constantly creating new things out of the space given. He’s constantly a “soc” and constantly a great friend. I look forward to this long, weird road we’re on together in this burrito continuum.

Happy Birthday David

Photo by. Ashley Bennett