Alex Q. Huffman made a regrettable decision to go all the way from San Francisco to Pittsburg, tired beyond logic, on a very minimum budget. He arrived at E.J. Phair ragged and miserable. Here are a collection of Facebook posts he’s made on the BART ride home.
Possibly the tiredest I’ve ever been. All apologies to Chris Garcia for missing his set. Griffin Daley saved my life with that ride to BART! OJ why am I still typing? What is happening? The BART needs new shocks. This old lady opened up a box of cookies and coughed on them. OJ, promise me you won’t eat the Croup cookies. They look delicious but smell like blood. Stefan Davis was funny tonight. What makes wind? I’m not alive any more now am I? If two people in different cities listen to Train at the same time which one of their souls dies first? Why do we have kneecaps? Is this what it feels like to be Keith D’souza? Jose Gaitan offered me stage time tonight but I was too tired to perform. Uh oh…cookie lady fell asleep. Now who’s gonna cough on the cookies? I’m certainly not. This is not fun anymore. I’m gonna go now.
Some guy with a handful of bells just woke up cookie lady. Now he’s stuck between trains because he doesn’t understand the doors. Oh, she’s so gonna cough on him…
She just coughed on her lap. Don’t pretend she’s Santa and you’ll be ok OJ. Promise me you won’t pretend she’s Santa! Even if she offers you gifts (probably poisonous cookies) don’t sit on her lap.