Hey, in eleven days I’m performing stand up comical orations at the Purple Onion for the third time in my professional career. The last time I tickled so many people, four of whom I knew. If you were bummed that you couldn’t see me, FRET NOT! This event is $10, on a Wednesday (which is the new Friday) and features a slew of talented comedians/nerds. In light of the “theme” of the show, I’m looking to be the Lando of the night, but there’s another black guy involved: GARY CORNBREAD ANDERSON! He’s much more Billy Dee than I could ever hope to be (RHYME!). So with my height, brown exterior, and proliferation of facial hair, I will resolve to be the noble Wookie known as Chewbacca (Chewie if you’re a familiar). My duties as Chewbacca include being loud, intimidating, strong, comprehensive to only a few people, enjoy a game of space chess, not wear any pants, AND be ultimately lovable.

FYI, I don’t have a shirt on as I type this.

SEE YOU AT THE PURPLE ONION!