Shanti Charan. 5 Minutes at Britannia Arms. 

"I don’t need popping corn at a Natalie Portman movie…"

— The Well Known Comic [Well conceived premise]

"I’m thinking of having this baby out of spite"

— Shanti Charan on a pregnancy scare

"I went to Good Vibes and got a $65 replacement for you. All you can do is wash a car."

— Melanie O’Brien explaining to a male audience member why a pleasure device is better than him [Paraphrase]