Comedy Day (A Sylvanite In Purgatory)

I had a nightmare, a flashback to last year’s fiasco. The gung-ho Sylvan, vikingesque spirit in the morning devolved into utter agony and sunken morale by nightfall. We struck a contingency plan, but it relied on rest and strategy.

Sleep remained elusive as a will-o’-the-wisp; I only managed to dominate three or four “Z’s”. After the glorified nap, energy trickled in adequately, a lazy aqueduct flowing past bodies, the night’s leftover affiliates. A hot roll of hearty spray reset my decay. By three-o-morning I stood alert inside sodden jeans, a Sylvan tee, neon-green Newport cap, rolled-sleeved collared shirt, everyday shoes, Miramonte hoodie, gardening gloves (lesson learned) and a considerable amount of anxiety. The rest of SylvanHouse floated lazily in stasis.

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I’ve been teaching myself to masturbate with my left hand in case I have a stroke.

- David VanAvermaete @ Comedy Day [Paraphrase] 

I’ve been teaching myself to masturbate with my left hand in case I have a stroke.

- David VanAvermaete @ Comedy Day [Paraphrase] 

"I like to come here every five years to remember why I hate white people."

— David Feldman @ Comedy Day [Paraphrase] 


“It’s weird getting heckled in a park. It feels like elementary school. 

- Mike Drucker @ Comedy Day [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Brian King]

“It’s weird getting heckled in a park. It feels like elementary school. 

- Mike Drucker @ Comedy Day [Paraphrase]

[Photo by Brian King]

Queenie TT and Diane Amos @ Comedy Day

Queenie TT and Diane Amos @ Comedy Day

"I’m the oldest I’ve ever been right now."

— Natasha Muse @ Comedy Day 

"San Francisco isn’t liberal, we just know how to ignore things really well."

— Anna Seregina @ Comedy Day [Paraphrase]. 

Comedy Day Countdown: Rick Overton by Dan Dion [4 Days to Go]

Comedy Day Countdown: Rick Overton by Dan Dion [4 Days to Go]

Comedy Day Countdown: 2012 Performers [12 Days Left]

Comedy Day Countdown: “2011” by Zoe Palladino [13 Days Left]

Comedy Day Countdown: “2011” by Zoe Palladino [13 Days Left]