"If somebody asks you if you want ‘extra mustard’ [on your sandwich], they want to fuck!"

Daryus Monday on sandwich delusion @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]

Daily Random (10/14/2013): The Dress Up Gang (nee Wobbly H Productions) in one of my favorite sketches of all time. 

courtingcomedy:

Wobbly H Productions present: San Francisco Petty Crimes Division w/ Cory Loykasek and Daryus Monday

(Donkey Kong Ain’t Got Shit on Me)

10/11. Fresh Like Cadaver: Simon King Of The Witches @ Lost Weekend Video. SF. 8PM. $10. Featuring Barbara Gray, Erin Lampart, George Chen, OJ Patterson, Moore Devine, David Gborie, Daryus Monday and Andre Parker. Tickets Available: Here. 

FRESH LIKE CADAVER! is a monthly horror themed, LIVE movie riffing comedy show in the spirit of Mystery Science Theater 3000 held at The Cinecave “Micro-Theater” located in the basement of Lost Weekend Video in The Mission District of San Francisco every 2nd Friday…
We built this city…ON DEATH! The first Fresh Like Cadaver was October 26th, 2012 and blah, blah, blah one year later and we’re all still alive! (On the outside (-_-)++++) come celebrate with your favorite basement people in the mission! There will be anteaters for people to touch during the movie and there will also be a registered sex therapist for any couples that come to the show and need a little help getting the ‘ol love boat back on the ocean!

10/11. Fresh Like Cadaver: Simon King Of The Witches @ Lost Weekend Video. SF. 8PM. $10. Featuring Barbara Gray, Erin Lampart, George Chen, OJ Patterson, Moore Devine, David Gborie, Daryus Monday and Andre Parker. Tickets Available: Here

FRESH LIKE CADAVER! is a monthly horror themed, LIVE movie riffing comedy show in the spirit of Mystery Science Theater 3000 held at The Cinecave “Micro-Theater” located in the basement of Lost Weekend Video in The Mission District of San Francisco every 2nd Friday…

We built this city…ON DEATH! The first Fresh Like Cadaver was October 26th, 2012 and blah, blah, blah one year later and we’re all still alive! (On the outside (-_-)++++) come celebrate with your favorite basement people in the mission! There will be anteaters for people to touch during the movie and there will also be a registered sex therapist for any couples that come to the show and need a little help getting the ‘ol love boat back on the ocean!


"[Alexis Texas] make me feel weird to watch her porn. She says she will never do a interracial scene with a black guy. I still jerk off to her clips but I after I come I feel like an Uncle Tom."

- Daryus Monday @ Kingman’s Ivy Room [Paraphrase]

"[Alexis Texas] make me feel weird to watch her porn. She says she will never do a interracial scene with a black guy. I still jerk off to her clips but I after I come I feel like an Uncle Tom."

- Daryus Monday @ Kingman’s Ivy Room [Paraphrase]

"Spiderman" by Daryus Monday. Album: Sitting Next to the Teacher Vol. 2.  Year: 2012.

(Source: Spotify)

2/14. Laughing Stock [Comedy] @ Gallery and Bar 4N5. 7PM. $5. Featuring Scott Capurro, Caitlin Gill, Daryus Monday, Andrew Holmgren, Juan Medina and Kollin Holtz (host). Presented by Sylvan Productions. 

2/14. Laughing Stock [Comedy] @ Gallery and Bar 4N5. 7PM. $5. Featuring Scott Capurro, Caitlin Gill, Daryus Monday, Andrew Holmgren, Juan Medina and Kollin Holtz (host). Presented by Sylvan Productions. 

12/15. Free Comedy (Get Yucked Up) @ Dirty Trix Saloon. 408 Clement St. SF. 9pm. Featuring Sean Keane, Daryus Monday, Caitlin Gill and Christopher John. Hosted by Andrew Holmgren. 

12/15. Free Comedy (Get Yucked Up) @ Dirty Trix Saloon. 408 Clement St. SF. 9pm. Featuring Sean Keane, Daryus Monday, Caitlin Gill and Christopher John. Hosted by Andrew Holmgren. 


“‘Hey man, maybe we should get some ice’. Ice? Are we gonna make some daiquiris, to celebrate THIS ASS WHOOPING!”

- A delusional Daryus Monday @ Rite Spot/Funny Sh*ts [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Rachael Shapiro]

“‘Hey man, maybe we should get some ice’. Ice? Are we gonna make some daiquiris, to celebrate THIS ASS WHOOPING!”

- A delusional Daryus Monday @ Rite Spot/Funny Sh*ts [Paraphrase]

[Photo by Rachael Shapiro]

"Signs She’s Ratchet" by Daryus Monday (@Daryusmonday)

"Signs She’s Ratchet" by Daryus Monday (@Daryusmonday)

"How the fuck do you act tough at an open mic?"

— Daryus Monday on a guy acting tough at an open mic @ Kimball’s [Paraphrase]