Favorite Things of Last Night: Dirty Trix Open Mic (1/9/2013)

Favorite Things of Last Night: Dirty Trix Open Mic (1/9/2013)



"Your face might be symmetrical but your ass cheeks are not!"


- Jules Posner on Denzel Washington’s nudity in Flight @ The Friend Zone/Dirty Trix Saloon [Paraphrase]

"Your face might be symmetrical but your ass cheeks are not!"

- Jules Posner on Denzel Washington’s nudity in Flight @ The Friend Zone/Dirty Trix Saloon [Paraphrase]

"I hate you all, already."

— Josef Anolin’s opening line to a despondent crowd @ The Friend Zone/Dirty Trix Saloon



"I know some of you are thinking, ‘I could do that’. I feel like [my performance] has inspired people"


- Kyle Mizono @ The Friend Zone/Dirty Trix Saloon [Paraphrase]

"I know some of you are thinking, ‘I could do that’. I feel like [my performance] has inspired people"

- Kyle Mizono @ The Friend Zone/Dirty Trix Saloon [Paraphrase]

1/5. The Friend Zone (Free Comedy) @ Dirty Trix Saloon. 408 Clement St. SF. 9PM. Featuring  Cameron Vannini, Jules Posner, Josef Anolin, Kyle Mizono, Neel Nanda, Tushar Singh, Ivan Hernandez, Kate Willett and Kevin Munroe. Hosted and Produced by Matt Louv. 

Join us in the Friend Zone this Saturday, as we invent straw-man fantasies about how girls only like guys who are mean to them and ride motorcycles, instead of confronting the reality that we just don’t have any interesting skills and say things out loud like Ninja Turtles are mutants not aliens god dammit Michael Bay you punk asshole motherfucker.

1/5. The Friend Zone (Free Comedy) @ Dirty Trix Saloon. 408 Clement St. SF. 9PM. Featuring  Cameron Vannini, Jules Posner, Josef Anolin, Kyle Mizono, Neel Nanda, Tushar Singh, Ivan Hernandez, Kate Willett and Kevin Munroe. Hosted and Produced by Matt Louv. 

Join us in the Friend Zone this Saturday, as we invent straw-man fantasies about how girls only like guys who are mean to them and ride motorcycles, instead of confronting the reality that we just don’t have any interesting skills and say things out loud like Ninja Turtles are mutants not aliens god dammit Michael Bay you punk asshole motherfucker.

12/15. Free Comedy (Get Yucked Up) @ Dirty Trix Saloon. 408 Clement St. SF. 9pm. Featuring Sean Keane, Daryus Monday, Caitlin Gill and Christopher John. Hosted by Andrew Holmgren. 

12/15. Free Comedy (Get Yucked Up) @ Dirty Trix Saloon. 408 Clement St. SF. 9pm. Featuring Sean Keane, Daryus Monday, Caitlin Gill and Christopher John. Hosted by Andrew Holmgren. 

"Is it gay that I want to suck my own dick? Is it gay that I’ve been practicing on my friends?"

— Bill Conway @ Dirty Trix [Paraphrase]

"'Needle Exchange' would be an awkward name for a sewing circle"

— Kevin O’Shea @ Dirty Trix [Paraphrase]

"I don’t want to be the guy that always put his finger in your butt, and I don’t want to be the guy that never puts his finger in your butt, but I don’t know how to be the guy who sometimes puts his finger in your butt."

Scott Simpson @ Dirty Trix [Paraphrase]



"One of the benefits of your mom dying of heroin is that you don’t have to eat your cereal with a fork anymore."


- John Ross @ Dirty Trix [Paraphrase]

"One of the benefits of your mom dying of heroin is that you don’t have to eat your cereal with a fork anymore."

- John Ross @ Dirty Trix [Paraphrase]