Jabari B(ooks) Davis # 3 : “Native Cum”

I remember when I lost my virginity in Jr High to a white girl on the good side of town. I took three buses to her house, only to be extremely uncomfortable being outside of my comfort zone. Even though no one was home, and we were alone, I still felt as if I was committing some crime. It was then that I realized, what Bigger Thomas from “Native Son” felt like. Only difference between Bigger and myself, is I put the pillow under here head!

-Jabari B. Davis

[Short, sweet, and a very deep reference. I was laughing so hard I made the people around me uncomfortable. I love Richard Wright.]

Jabari B(ooks) Davis # 2 : “Monster”

“The good thing about Autobiographies, is that you never know how they can change the direction of your life. I remember in the summer of 1994, I picked up “Monster,” by Sanyika Shakur aka Cody Scott. A riveting and graphic tale of GangBanging in Los Angeles. At this point I was swaying between GangBanging and Education, leaning a lot more towards GangBanging. As it seemed like the most logical choice at the time.

This book was powerful. In the sense that it was the first book that I read in less than 6hrs. The dialogue and tone of the book was so vivid and descriptive, that I went on a ride with the author. By the time the book was over, I personally felt like I had murdered enemies, been in and out of prison, got shot multiple times, and found myself after years of being in solitary confinement. It took less than 6 hrs, and a book to satisfy my desire to go down a path that so many other black men had succumbed to. “Monster” Cody Scott was in my eyes, the Michael Jordan of Genocide, and doing it better than him, was impossible. The only thing I could do more Gangster than him, was go somewhere he’d never been. Like College.

Four years later I walked across the stage with a degree in Philosophy from Fresno State, wearing Blue Chuck Taylor’s and Blue shoe laces. Not because I was a Crip, I was far from it. I did it to honor “Monster” Cody Scott. He sacrificed his life, so I could do right by mine! Now thats Gangsta!”

-Jabari B. Davis

New Segment: Jabari B(ooks) Davis

[We are proud to present a new collaboration with comedian Jabari Baraka Davis. In addition to being a successful comedy businessman with anecdotes of cultured thuggery, Jabari Davis is an avid reader. Davis has agreed to provide insight to his literature tastes and thoughts in weekly installments… It’s like Reading Rainbow with more swag. Enjoy:]

” One of my favorite books coming up, was “Great Expectations,” by Charles Dickens. Story of a young man, going from ashy to classy, through the help a few influential people. It was sort of a fantasy for me, an experience I yearned for in my own life. It wasn’t until I found myself in a Penthouse over looking the Bay, that I realized, I was no longer Jabari Davis. I had become Pip. Only difference between Dickens version, and my life, is that I’m actually fucking Miss Havisham. “

-Jabari B. Davis

The RunOff: Julian Vance

photo by. Raun Harris

A few months back I interviewed Julian Vance for a piece featured on Antithesis Comedy. Much of the interview was trimmed out for brevity. Here is the majority of the “missing” interview. [P.S. For the full experience, imagine frequent laughter between the two of us amid the questions and answers]

Courting Comedy: What rooms were running when you started?

Julian Vance: The Java Source was great. The Java Source was every Friday and Saturday night in the Richmond, kinda across the street from Rockit Room. You had to walk through about forty old Chinese men smoking cigarettes and gambling out front. It was all the way in the back and people fucking hated that we were there. People would come in and turn right back around. The normal customers, every time comedy would start, they would get up and walk away.

CC: Was it always consistent?

JV: It was consistently bad. It was always a shitty experience but you got onstage twice a week… Another great [room] was the Luggage Store. It’s on Market, [its] still called the Luggage Store. This was a mic for comics only, there was no audience. And you would have to pay a dollar to perform, not even pay a dollar, donate a dollar to keep the space open. It was more like a writing workshop than anything else. You would be done with your set and people would tell you what you did right [and] what you did wrong. It was the first place I ever bombed. It was my third or fourth set.

CC: Did you ever do the “scouting” thing of checking a mic out first?

JV: Naw, I just went. The first mic I went to was the Brainwash. This was back when they were doing the lottery system so you picked your name out of a hat. I pulled number “2” and nobody pulled number “1”. I had never seen live stand-up comedy performed before, never been to a comedy club and I went up first.

CC: How did people respond?

JV: My first set went over really well. I still remember the first joke I ever told, which looking back on it is cringe worthy. The first joke I ever told was: “So I’m a fat kid who wants to be a stand-up comic which is code for ‘I’m a virgin’.” [I did] five minutes. I got off stage, I walked right out of the Brain Wash, didn’t talk to anybody. I called my mom. [At this time] Whoopi Goldberg and Robin Williams had some handprints in some cement around the corner from the Brainwash. I walked past that and thought “I fucking made it man! I’m here!”

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Room Review: The Deco Lounge

Comedy in San Francisco isn’t glamorous. There are institutions (Punch Line, Cobb’s), premier nightclubs (Purple Onion, Deluxe), and amazing atmospheres (Dark Room, Brainwash) but most comedy is crusty glitter-litter. Slow bar nights in notorious neighborhoods, anonymous audiences overrun with hopefuls. Precarious stageships with ominous backdrops of black drapes or tinsel that contrast with the fleshy struggle in the foreground. Jokes thrashed with silence for being too old or two new for a group of cynical, self-centered peers. Comedy in the City is akin to opening scenes in boxing films: smoky, loud, ill-illuminated clubhouses for many fighters but few champions. These rooms serve as training grounds, caverns to develop strength, conditioning, stamina and strategy.

One such establishment is the Deco Lounge at 510 Larkin St. A spectrum flag hangs over the doorway, bartenders serve drinks with optional nudity, promotional material features aggressive bears and drag queens, pool tables, condom buckets and narrow bathrooms with a million implied stories. Located firmly in the Tenderloin, Deco trades traditional drug addled weirdness with subdued sexual strangeness.

Every Monday the establishment hosts an open mic comedy night for free starting at 7:00 PM. Deco is a great kick-start to the rest of night and the rest of the week. Tony Koester serves as the resident host, approximately twenty comedians take the stage in two hours and the bar as always accommodating.

The Ballad of Gay Tony

It’s a quaint coincidence that San Francisco boasts two hosting Tony’s (Koester and Sparks). Both share an affinity towards fresh talent, stand in stout dimensions, graciously suffer threats and danger, and generate sexual innuendo in a fraction of a second. At the crossroad of Kindness and Creepiness, both more often stay on the former road. The two Tony’s diverge at the trajectory of their targeting systems: Sparks makes lewd compliments to the attractive female comedians and Koester sets sights on the handsome boys. Ivan Hernandez and Conrad Roth get the brunt of it but never fear, the gay-straight badinage is good natured, entertaining and fleeting.

Koester keeps things rocking and rolling; the night moves at a brisk pace. Comedians look at their notebooks and drink Pabst, lounging in a verbal Jacuzzi that is lukewarm at best. The atmosphere of the room removes the need for melodrama, selling or pandering. Stripped of the yuk-yuk bullshit, the comedians use the time to hone riffing and refine rough, slower paced, anecdotal material. The results are very real, very raw, and very hilarious revelations never uttered elsewhere.

Some nights are uncharacteristically electric. A fine mist of giddiness can make a hollow room full. Sometimes comedians stay well past their set and a contingent of appreciating audience applauds the comedians’ hard work. Sometimes festive patrons watch the comedy in anticipation of a subsequent drag show or dance party.

The grab bag of experiences makes Deco a positive, popular place to mentally work out. If you’ve yet to bound its boards or watch its shows, you’re missing out on something worthwhile. 

Comedian Highlight: Jesse Elias

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s with the utmost sincerity that I present these words to you. The following is a combination of truth, facts, opinion, lies, hyperbole and poetry put forward with love and admiration. This article will fall sure in expressing everlasting justice and will only serve as a landmark on an ever-expanding horizon. Still, if this writing increases awareness to a single person, it has served its intended purpose. Without further ado, Courting Comedy gives you Mr. Jesse Elias.

A crest of applause rises as dual spotlights converge center stage and the curtain splits down the middle. The illumination bounces off a frizzy-haired, svelte, bespectacled young man in a powder blue collared shirt and khaki pants: Jesse Elias. He slumps to the microphone; head lowered, left hand stained with dark markings and ojos obscured by lens sheen and head shag. His physicality is skittish yet endearing and his unique tonality completes the facade.

“Um, so yeah.”

Intrigue and assumption clash and cascade in the audience; Elias is an eelias, difficult to grasp and electric upon contact. The gravity of Jesse’s persona is genuine. The subsequent genius is pronounced with great pace, wit and design. His attention to the past gives way to glorious observations in the present leading undoubtedly to a bright future. Elias’ humor is marinated in history: war history, food history, game history, performance arts history, American history, world-wide-web history and most importantly, comedy history. Jesse knows the standards, decries the shortcuts and defines new age classical comedy.

Jesse Elias is the voice of a generation, a foremost speaker on growing up in the Nineteen-Nineties and early twenty-first century. He represents a 4chan champion probing the loneliness and loathing caused by the idolized missed connectivity of the here and now. He is the social disenfranchisement that refuses glorification or being pandered to. He uses aural hypertext mark-up language and acute satire beyond the question of “Why?” in search of the exclamation “Huh?” With Elias, the idea, concept and aesthetic are king. He overlooks the valley of creativity, wrecked by deforestation perpetuated by hacks. He cringes with disappointment. Then, with a green tongue, he pollinates the field with hope.

Jesse once explained the loose gravity he feels on stage that allows him to hover so effortlessly. According to Jesse, the stage and microphone creates another existence, an unreal reality. The outside world is very cold, the stage is usually warm and the microphone is always hot. Elias feels, looks and sounds comfortable on stage and it’s a beautiful realization to know you’re free.

It’s exciting to see the seemingly small stone make so many waves and ripples. The majority respect and admire the rapid brilliance pulsing in Jesse work and personality. The minority quakes with jealousy, green eyes observing the prestige and ascension. Elias barely plays by show business’ politically rules; he perpetually grows because and in service to his talent. Opportunity seeks Jesse because it knows the wiry prodigy will deliver in amazing fashion.

In addition to his stand-up ability, Elias processes a cache of talents in other mediums. Portraits, hypothetical landscapes, 8-bit illustrations, MIDI compositions and an excellent countertenor voice are a few of Jesse’s skills loosely showcased on the Internet. It’s daunting to know that Elias’ exploits are stymied by a lull in time and funds. One can only anticipate and imagine the wonderment of a Jesse Elias film, animation or video game.

Of course Elias will shy away from all this adulation, shrink from the attention and praise. It is apart of Jesse’s loveable nature, the shell of humbleness he retreats into. For now the shell is beneficial; Elias incubates in the nurturing goo of his consciousness, warmed from above by the Bay Area’s comedic posterior. Nevertheless that shell will crack one day and a fully formed Jesse Elias will emerge as the cult protagonist he’s destined to be. Until then the hip will marvel at the golden wunderkind, blinding the underground with his saturated reflection.

Jesse Elias, illustrated by Leslie Winchester

Interview: Bryant Hicks

Courting Comedy is proud to present its first interview; our subject is Bay Area comedian, Bryant Hicks. Hicks is a figurehead of the Be Funny 365 comedy collective based out of Oakland’s New Parish and an associate of Jabari Davis and Associates. He will be headlining this upcoming Friday (3/25. 10 PM. 18+) at the Historic Purple Onion (140 Columbus Ave, San Francisco, CA). Tickets are available: here.

Courting Comedy: Who came up with the name Be Funny 365?

Bryant Hicks: Be Funny was a name that Chris [Riggins] came up with. 365, that was from me and my crew being called 365 and about getting fucked up all year round. We took now to being funny all year round.

CC: You’re originally from San Diego right?

BH: I’m from all over. I was born in Sacramento… then we moved to Virginia…then we moved to England, then San Diego, then Oregon (Beaverton), then back to San Diego.

CC: What did all that moving do to you culturally?

BH: I think, where I’m at right now, it’s definitely helped me become who I am because I had to go into places and get people to like me from the giddy-up… There was one point I moved every year for three years.

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Product Review: Kevin Camia’s “Kindness”

“Kindness”, the stand-up comedy album by Kevin Camia, is Red Velvet Devil’s Food Cake. The humor is rich, dark, moist, sweet, satisfying and presented in a leveled, circular form. Even if every shameful thought while consuming the album is “I shouldn’t be doing this,” the audience is compelled to continue the gluttonous decadence all the way to the water closet. “Kindness” reveals the truth that everything we eat ultimately conveys: the world is shit. At least Kevin Camia allows you to laugh at that fact with his smooth, satirical tones.

Camia is a Bay Area comedian with a gentle shell enveloping a dark, frustrated core. He lulls the audience with comforting pats on the head before yanking their hair with a jolting punchline. Camia has mastered the art of turning everything horrifying and lewd into assured, absurd “kidding” that never takes away from his overall likeability. It’s the ultimate juggle of juxtaposition: the varying intensities of voice and substance.

“Kindness” marks a continual transition present in Camia’s career: escaping the horrid hills of empty employment while contending in the low rewards arena of stand-up comedy. The comic mines his past in anecdotes about grocery stories and high school counseling. He also delves into socially conscious self-awareness by highlighting the rise of neodouchebaggery and office racism. Camia is especially skilled at taking Asian stereotypes, recontextualizing them to make generalizations sensible or twisting them to reveal ugly truths.

The comedian also takes flight into chaotic cognitions, walking along a funny and odd stream of consciousness. The best example of this comedy style is his musings on having a temporary vagina; an in depth analysis (wink, wink) on the inherent pros, cons and Camia’s own reservations. One could imagine Kevin in a Charlie Kaufman film as he cries, “Get off me!” (Buy this album and “Synecdonche, New York” to understand what I mean).

Kevin Camia is self-defined as a San Francisco born, Santa Rosa raised, progressive Filipino-American vegetarian. In “Kindness”, these are all superseded by Camia’s identity as a comedian. He takes a classic comic standpoint: enjoying the comforts of life whilst curmudgeonly mocking the surrounding societal constructs. Camia doesn’t pander, nor omit any group as he takes aim at items he loves (quinoa), hates (intolerance) or is indifferent to (interracial dating). And just as he goes top speed on a straight forward, cleverly cranky point the comedian can make a right turn onto Creepy Blvd. or Strange Ln., which creates a versatile comedy experience.

The official album set concludes with a tender moment where Camia expresses his desire to marry his longtime girlfriend. It’s a charming finale filled with hallmark lampooning, “Unchained Melody”, and a punchline that would make Louis Sachar smile. With these last laughs, “Kindness” subversively lives up to its name.

Thank You for Reading

P.S. Shakira as you’ve never seen her before: Reading Courting Comedy in footie pajamas.

Comedian Highlight: Nina (Key of G)

The misunderstanding of Miss Understanding

Great, grand, gracious

Mind sharp, heart spacious

Truth holding defender

against the ignorant and racists

Nina from Alameda

An inspiration and a leader

Whose brain requires her to be a syllable repeater

Whose mouth becomes a heater

to roast ye hacky cheaters

Who mockingly repeat her

But surely can’t defeat her

As she speaks ether through the speakers

Changing the grey matter of all receivers

Turning unknowing to true believers

The miseducation of Miss Education

Truth be told, she would hold

Dreams of bounding boards since eleven years old

Martin, Radner, Pryor inspired

Nina to speak through wires

but internal fire met a world quite cold

And her special speech turned to fear

That kept her growth in stunted control

Her voice silent for years

til an epiphany told her need to be bold

And weave back breaking straws into comedy gold

In demand from Vegas to Sacramento

Her art to create, destiny to take hold

The misadventures of Miss Adventure

And now she stands bookended by bookers

Trying to book her or trying to “book” her

A minority within a minority within a minority

A fresh commodity for the majority

Quickly rising despising conformity

A crusader smuggling social justice in sex jokes

Satire in words spoke

of where she’s been and where she’s going

All the while enjoying

Sharing in the artform of Bruce and Carlin

The daring darling

Nina with two “N”s

Double birds til the end

For cocksuckers and friends

whilst in a key of “G”. 

Nina. Photo by. Imran G (no relation). 

Show Review: Alex Koll CD Release Party

Alex Koll is a long time staple of San Francisco Bay Area comedy. He performed “Boomtime” with Moshe Kasher and Brent Weinbach, co-produces “The Business” at the Dark Room Theater, won multiple regional air guitar championships, directs, hosts, and headlines while cultivating amazing, abstract absurdity. Recently Koll released his debut album, “Wizard Hello” on Rooftop Comedy’s label and on January 17, 2010, he threw party at the San Francisco Punchline to commemorate the milestone.

Emily Heller opened the show as well as commanded hosting duties. For the uniformed, Heller is a premier comic, Bay Area Laugh Leader finalist and resident Punchline performer. She warmed the crowd with confident self-degradation, well-placed wit, and casually cynical social commentary. She also started the night’s theme of discussing the San Francisco Giants by screaming expletives at the state of Texas. Heller created a soothing, sarcastic rhythm as she dissected bumper stickers and feminism recruiting folly all before a crescendo of comedy and compliments to Mr. Alex Koll.

Next performer: DJ Real. DJ Real is an intricate performance artist who blends props, acoustic musicianship, flashy dance moves and boombox background singers. The set included a number of songs off Real’s latest release, Personal Growth, as well as classics from his back catalog. Combating technical issues and performance gaffes (one of his fairies went rogue), DJ Real remained poised and endearing with his winning whimsy and careful corniness. The curly-haired virtuoso left the stage without his shoes but not before leaving an impression.

After a brief Heller-lude a bombastic baby faced man bounded the boards. Sean Keane brought the show’s second helping of stand-up comedy, a steaming dish of embarrassing stories and regional humor. Keane poked fun at adult and adolescent awkwardness in a fun, relatable manner. He also broke down the Giants in relationship to the City’s neighborhoods and took jabs at Oakland’s sports fans. The West Bay crowd was very receptive to Keane’s metered, polished, gabbing. The Raider fans shook their heads forlornly as they chuckled.

Bobby Joe Ebola and the Children MacNuggits proceeded to the penultimate performance position. The subversive, indie-folkish, duo of Dan Abbott and Corbett Radford, acoustically peddled catchy, Zappaesque, tunes dripping in irony. Most of the group’s songs boasted a dark subject manner, juxtaposed with jovial chords and cheerful harmonies. In the middle of their set Radford expressed sincere commendations to his long time friend, Alex Koll and his career accomplishments. Then, immediately thereafter, the band sprung into a rousing melodious tale of going postal at work. Both gestures were extremely heartfelt.

The man of the hour closed the show to conclude the night’s festivities. Alex Koll began with gratitude, thanking the audience before addressing the absence of his previously characteristic beard. The comedian’s routine not only reflected his physical change but also a stylistic shift as he performed new material excluded from his album. “Wizard Hello” is rife with surreal set ups and side swiping punchlines. This performance featured anecdotal material of Koll’s hell gigs, previous day jobs, and his Jewish ancestry. The bridge between the two Alex’s is Koll’s skilled wordplay and heavily detailed delivery. The show concluded with a hilarious tale of a baseball game in relation to a chubby childhood and insane summer crickets.

The term “release party” was a bit of a misnomer. There was no cake, few cone hats and absolutely no piñata. “Party” translated that night to an oddball, innovative, nerdy variety show featuring harmonious artists, best friends, and brilliant minds all residing in the house of Alex Koll.

Update: I should have wrote “… brilliant minds all residing in the Alex Kollection”.