Last night, I spent an evening at the Nerdmelt Theater in Los Angeles, CA, for the most recent edition of Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction. A star-studded line-up of comedians wrote absurdly sexual tales with subjects as divergent as Don Quixote and Alf. Congratulations to winners Solomon Georgio (Alvin and the Chipmunks) and Heather Thompson (Alf). Special shout-outs to former Bay Boys, Chris Thayer (Breaking Bad) and Bobcat Goldthwait (Green Eggs and Ham), as well as the litany of talent on display. In celebration, by permission, I present to you another winner, David Gborie, culled from a CEFF show in August at the Hemlock Tavern. NSFW. Enjoy.