Spencer Latham, Nicole Calasich and Richard Toomer at Ivy Room Open Mic (via toomertime)

Spencer Latham, Nicole Calasich and Richard Toomer at Ivy Room Open Mic (via toomertime)

"SparkNotes is when you wanted to read a book but skip it at the same time because you didn’t trust the movie."

Adrian McNair @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]

"One of my favorite artists is Van Morrison. Few people know that “Brown Eyed Girl” was about a girl with green eyes and two buttholes."

Darby Herms @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]

"I think ‘Flamin’ Hot Cheetos’ are just gay Cheetos."

Andrew Orolfo @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]

"[Republicans] voted forty two times to repeal the law. Sounds a little obsessive compulsive, which is a mental disease, which is ironically covered in Obamacare"

— Henry Hopkins @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]

"If somebody asks you if you want ‘extra mustard’ [on your sandwich], they want to fuck!"

Daryus Monday on sandwich delusion @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]


"There was a time when YouTube didn’t exist and we needed the most bland dude to introduce videos."

– Johan Miranda on explaining Carson Daly in the future @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]

"There was a time when YouTube didn’t exist and we needed the most bland dude to introduce videos."

– Johan Miranda on explaining Carson Daly in the future @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]

"You know you’re broke when you’re at the Dollar Store and have to make a decision."

— John Griffin @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]