![“I’m a four in a nine’s body. I know all you see up here is eyelashes and gams, but inside it’s no bueno.”
- Eric Dadourian @ San Francisco Punch Line [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Kyle Mizono]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/ac73f219c5ff7d28b6255f0656a5e7c5/tumblr_mn7ykrgXZz1qcxc43o1_500.jpg)
“I’m a four in a nine’s body. I know all you see up here is eyelashes and gams, but inside it’s no bueno.”
- Eric Dadourian @ San Francisco Punch Line [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Kyle Mizono]
Visiting stand-up Jules Posner understands the true value of medical marijuana and sums it up in this Joke of the WeekKeepin’ it short and sweet in TimeOut New York
"You put the “UTI” in beautiful"
— Albert Corado’s “hypothetically dismal” pick-up line @ The Flying Pig [Paraphrase]
"I’m like a lethargic Juggernaut, except I don’t have a crystal in my forehead! … The thing that can stop lethargic Juggernaut is a crowd."
— Josh Marcus plowing through a set @ Sports Basement/Good Times at the Grotto [Paraphrase]
![“It’s a mad scramble to finding some guy who’s baby they would keep.”
- Kate Willett on her friends nearing 30 @ Sports Basement/Good Times at the Grotto. [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Jay Austin Graham]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/11e4253e15f5e2e76dab57fe5f993bd4/tumblr_mn2neoM7AS1qcxc43o1_500.jpg)
“It’s a mad scramble to finding some guy who’s baby they would keep.”
- Kate Willett on her friends nearing 30 @ Sports Basement/Good Times at the Grotto. [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Jay Austin Graham]
"You need holes! HOOOOOLES!"
— Caitlin Gill on requisite gender ratios at orgies @ Sports Basement [Paraphrase]
![“I hope this night never ends! Because I’ll still be alone tomorrow.”
- Grant Lyon on being happysad drunk @ Christy’s On the Square [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Leo Hochberg]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/0e148a96392b25164a4b8be9fdcf05ee/tumblr_mmngdlYEUX1qcxc43o1_500.jpg)
“I hope this night never ends! Because I’ll still be alone tomorrow.”
- Grant Lyon on being happysad drunk @ Christy’s On the Square [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Leo Hochberg]
"I have a pretty big dick… for a girl"
— Matt Lieb @ Christy’s on the Square [Paraphrase]
"I don’t want to be 30. People say “30 is the new 20”, but I was a mess at 20."
— Kimberly Rose Wendt @ Dirty Trix [Paraphrase]
"You can tell a lot about a person by where they grab the bear when squeezing out honey"
— Jesse Elias @ The Night Light [Paraphrase]
