"I have a pretty big dick… for a girl"
— Matt Lieb @ Christy’s on the Square [Paraphrase]
"I don’t want to be 30. People say “30 is the new 20”, but I was a mess at 20."
— Kimberly Rose Wendt @ Dirty Trix [Paraphrase]
"You can tell a lot about a person by where they grab the bear when squeezing out honey"
— Jesse Elias @ The Night Light [Paraphrase]
"VIP Heaven is a gym with bottle service."
— Josh Androsky @ The Night Light [Paraphrase]
![“Let’s face it, a sink is just a dick-bidday.”
- Andrew Holmgren @ Dirty Trix [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Andrew Moore]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/1a8fe361dbceeb2e5b862f37d28691be/tumblr_mmhntotwK21qcxc43o1_500.jpg)
“Let’s face it, a sink is just a dick-bidday.”
- Andrew Holmgren @ Dirty Trix [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Andrew Moore]
"I got fired because it turns out that taking two shits at work isn’t the same as giving two shits at work."
— May May Oskan @ Dirty Trix Saloon [Paraphrase]
![“Do you guys like first impressions?”
- Kevin O’Shea @ The Night Light [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Jay Austin Graham]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/a3b69d8fa33f534250cbe79bf15bcd40/tumblr_mmfp1ycAkI1qcxc43o1_500.jpg)
“Do you guys like first impressions?”
- Kevin O’Shea @ The Night Light [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Jay Austin Graham]
"OJ, the thing I like about you is that you have nothing in common with OJ Simpson, except I hear your laughters in my sleep."
— Jessica Sele @ The Night Light [Paraphrase]
"They that sex is a drug, which makes sense because I have/would/will totally suck dick for it."
— Allison Mick @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]
![“I’m a 49ers fan but I want my next boyfriend to be an Oakland Raiders fan because I want someone capable of unconditional love.”
- Nicole Turley @ Dirty Trix Saloon [Paraphrase]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/3a4bfc0e19816a5024afc0dfe83f62a4/tumblr_mmavdbWTRF1qcxc43o1_500.jpg)
“I’m a 49ers fan but I want my next boyfriend to be an Oakland Raiders fan because I want someone capable of unconditional love.”
- Nicole Turley @ Dirty Trix Saloon [Paraphrase]
