"As a comedian, I never blame an audience for a rough show. I blame the audience’s parents. #GuapThat #parenting"
— Juan Medina (via Twitter)
"My neighbor waves at me with a smile but I don’t trust him, because I’m an American."
— Juan “The Comedian” Medina [Paraphrase]
"Don’t be hating on my hate"
— Chris Schippacasse to John Brown [Paraphrase] (via juanthecomedian)
"Sailors are like the pioneers of comedy! They were before Lenny Bruce"
— Juan “The Comedian” Medina @ Our Little Theater
"Do you guys know Nate Dogg? You may know him as “Sir Nathanial Doggins"
— Juan the Comedian @ British audience members [Our Little Theater]