"I can’t do [comedy] with that ugly ass dog over there."

— Melanie O’Brien @ The Alameda All-Star Comedy Jam (Paraphrased)

"This is the best night of comedy for me. I’m not being facetious."

— Julian Vance (@ the Alameda All-Star Comedy Jam)

Wednesday Comedy Wrap-Up (9/15/2010)

Open Mic @ McGrath’s Pub. 1539 Lincoln Ave. Alameda, CA. Sign Ups: 9:00 PM. Show: 9:30ish. (Two OJ Hosted events without a flyer. I’ve been slipping. Lo Siento). 

Stud Open Microphone. 9th & Harrison. San Francisco, CA. 8:30 Sign Ups. 9:00 Show. 

Ladies Night Open Mic. 1122 Folsom St. San Francisco. 8 pm (Sign Ups: 7:30). 

The Mission’s longest-running comedy show welcomes a stellar group of guest stars this week. Andy Haynes, Ron Funches, and Karl Hess are riding a rocket ship to superstardom, and we’re lucky that they’ve decided to refuel at the Business along the way. We’ve also got Chris Garcia, Alex Koll, and Sean Keane to round out the show, available to you for the pittance of five American dollars.

Andy Haynes is a comedian from Seattle who now makes his home in New York City. He was part of the prestigious Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal this summer, and last week he made his network televison debut on “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon.”

Karl Hess is an LA comedian who also performed at the Just For Laughs Festival in July. He’s performed at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival and the North Carolina Comedy Arts Festival, and hosts the semi-weekly Sunday Sunday Sunday Show in Westwood.

Ron Funches was raised in Chicago, but has found a home in the Pacific Northwest. He’s competed in the Seattle International Comedy Competition, and performed at Bumbershoot and the Bridgetown Comedy Festival.

8 PM! Five bucks! A show for the ages!

San Francisco State University and Rooftop Comedy (www.rooftopcomedy.com) present a screening of “Spike and Mike Sick and Twisted Animation”!
The screening is free to all SF State students and only 5$ for the general public. Come for a screening of “Spike and Mike” originals as well as feature the comedy of host and local comedian Sal Calanni and SF State student comedians Jules Posner, Jesse Fernandez, and Spencer Devine.

Event Information:
Date:
September 15th, 7pm
Location:
Zach Adams Hall at the Cesar Chavez Student Center, 1650 Holloway Ave.
Admission:
Free for SF State Students, $5 for the public

Jabari Davis and Associates present Janine Brito. 8 PM. $20. 140 Columbus Ave. San Francisco. (Also featuring Stuart Thompson). 

First Night of the Wharf Room “Walk the Plank” competition. The brightest of the up and comers scrapping over at 256 Jefferson St. San Francisco CA. 8:00 PM.

"Nina G, you could go out for the Special Olympics… If they had a debate team."

— Justin Harrison (@ The Justin Harrison Roast, McGrath’s 9/8/2010)

"I love telling that joke in Pleasanton because all the girls go “What’s Al-Jazeera? Who’s he?”"

— Ben Kolina (comparing The Oxygen Network to Al Jazeera)

"I wonder how a cup of water feels about tea-bagging."

— McGrath’s Pub Patron

Tonight - McGrath’s Open Mic and Comedy Roast. 1539 Lincoln Ave. Alameda, CA. 9:00 Sign Ups. 9:30 Show. (In light of recent aging we be celebrating Mr. Justin Harrison. Don’t have any fat or wigger or Irish jokes, don’t worry, it’s an open mic show first and foremost. See ya.

Tonight - McGrath’s Open Mic and Comedy Roast. 1539 Lincoln Ave. Alameda, CA. 9:00 Sign Ups. 9:30 Show. (In light of recent aging we be celebrating Mr. Justin Harrison. Don’t have any fat or wigger or Irish jokes, don’t worry, it’s an open mic show first and foremost. See ya.

"I Only Eat Turkey!" The Justin Harrison Roast.

Folks, more details will come when I have less on my plate. But let it be known, this Wednesday, we get to roast somebody who truly deserves it. With compassion though. Real soft like. But hard. COME OUT! (Too be continued).

"I Only Eat Turkey!" The Justin Harrison Roast.

Folks, more details will come when I have less on my plate. But let it be known, this Wednesday, we get to roast somebody who truly deserves it. With compassion though. Real soft like. But hard. COME OUT! (Too be continued).

Favorite Things of Last Night: (9/1/2010)

Keon Kobra discussing his frustrations with goth women. “I’m not going to help you with your rape fantasy unless I get a little affection”

Joey “Johnny” Nitro talking about Jesus’ lost years: “Jesus, man that guy could put up some great dry wall”.

Wednesday Comedy Wrap-Up

McGrath’s Pub. Open Mic. 1539 Lincoln Avenue. Alameda, CA. Hosted by: OJ Patterson. Sign Ups: 9:00. Show: 9:30. (I’m feeling weird. Odd aura. Don’t know how this is going to go. Didn’t even have time to make a flyer. Hmmm. Come through anyway. Or not. Odd aura.)

Stud. 9th and Harrison. San Francisco, CA. Open Mic. Sign Ups: 8:30. Show: 9:00.

Our last show of the summer is going to be spectacular, as we welcome three great guests to The Business. Adam Lowitt, Sal Calanni, and Kevin Hancock will all be gracing our stage, along with regular Businessmen Alex Koll, Bucky Sinister, and Sean Keane. Labor Day is approaching, so come out to see comedians doing great work. Your knees will be “weekend” by laughter! (Note: Show will not contain such horrible puns)

Adam Lowitt is an Emmy-winning producer of Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show” who performs stand-up all over New York City. He has also contributed to Saturday Night Live’s “Weekend Update.”

You can see Sal Calanni cracking up audiences at comedy clubs all over the Bay Area, and you can see him get his ass kicked on an episode of “Trauma.” He also wrote the film “Lucifer’s Crewcut,” and runs the weekly “Sal & Angelo Podcast.”

Kevin Hancok is a regular at Cobb’s Comedy Club, the Sf Punch Line, and at the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas. Recently, he made a memorable appearance at the Hubba Huba Revue’s Caveman Show, thus justifying his huge and spectacular beard.

The show starts at 8, and admission is just five dollars. The Dark Room is located on Mission between 18th and 19th Streets, across the street from our informal sponsor, Cancun Taqueria.

Plus the Madrone Art Bar show (TWO STOPS DOWN)

and

Comedy at the Whitehorse Inn

6551 Telegraph AveOakland, CA7:00-9:00