"I’m lazy. I treat sex like sports: I’d rather pay to see professionals do it on TV. I’m almost too lazy for consensual sex."

Mean Dave @ San Francisco Punch Line [Paraphrase]


"You know what my dad says, ‘Women, can’t live with them, I want my money back.’"

– Mean Dave @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Jay Austin Graham]

"You know what my dad says, ‘Women, can’t live with them, I want my money back.’"

Mean Dave @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]

[Photo by Jay Austin Graham]

"I don’t do open-mic comedy for the laughs. I do it for the peace and quiet."

Mean Dave @ Ivy Room [Paraphrase]

"This is what Oakland is about: cooperation and ignoring bad comedy"

— Mean Dave @ Oakland Art Murmur [Paraphrase]

Chris Riggins, risking life and limb at Oakland Art Murmur. Supported by Matt Gubser, Mean Dave and an obscured Adrian McNair

Chris Riggins, risking life and limb at Oakland Art Murmur. Supported by Matt Gubser, Mean Dave and an obscured Adrian McNair


"The only thing a white person is good for is losing money and getting it back."

- Mean Dave on the perils of Anglo slavery @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]

"The only thing a white person is good for is losing money and getting it back."

- Mean Dave on the perils of Anglo slavery @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]


"I saw Skyfall, and I learned that millions of people can be wrong. That movie was dumb."

- Mean Dave @ Stork Club [Paraphrase] 

"I saw Skyfall, and I learned that millions of people can be wrong. That movie was dumb."

- Mean Dave @ Stork Club [Paraphrase] 

(Source: heartshapedbox0)

10/20. End of Days Comedy w/ Roman Leo @ 1582 Folsom St. SF. 9PM. Featuring Nina G, OJ Patterson, Christopher John, Stefani Silverman, Jesse Elias, Gabby Poccia and Chris Barylick. Presented by Mean Dave and Christopher John.

10/20. End of Days Comedy w/ Roman Leo @ 1582 Folsom St. SF. 9PM. Featuring Nina G, OJ Patterson, Christopher John, Stefani Silverman, Jesse Elias, Gabby Poccia and Chris Barylick. Presented by Mean Dave and Christopher John.

Mean Dave: Il Pirata Gong Show Champion

Mean Dave: Il Pirata Gong Show Champion