"I thought the best part of waking up was Foldger’s in your cup, not ya ass!"

— Zorba Hughes on coffee enemas @ Portal’s Tavern [Paraphrase]

"Just because I licked your asshole doesn’t mean you want to be Facebook friends…"

— Jessica Sele on her post-one-night-stand social network anxieties @ Portal’s Tavern [Paraphrase]