"I love reading the news, because I love horror movies and that’s what the news is."

— Colleen Watson @ Rite Spot [Paraphrase]


I know I don’t have the body type for porn. For me to get into porn I would either have to lose 50 pounds or gain 200. 

Alison Stevenson @ Rite Spot [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Rachael Shapiro]

I know I don’t have the body type for porn. For me to get into porn I would either have to lose 50 pounds or gain 200. 

Alison Stevenson @ Rite Spot [Paraphrase]

[Photo by Rachael Shapiro]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Anna Seregina (“We’re in a public place, but it feels like we’re alone. You’re wearing casual khakis, and I can tell your salmon-colored shirt breathes well. “Did you remember to ask for no onions on my super veggie burrito?” I ask. “Yehrerrh,” you reply, your mouth stuffed to its limits with a beef taco. Perfect.”) [22 Days]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Anna Seregina (“We’re in a public place, but it feels like we’re alone. You’re wearing casual khakis, and I can tell your salmon-colored shirt breathes well. “Did you remember to ask for no onions on my super veggie burrito?” I ask. “Yehrerrh,” you reply, your mouth stuffed to its limits with a beef taco. Perfect.”) [22 Days]


I have three friends. I think I’m tapped out.

- Anna Seregina @ Rite Spot [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Amber Gregory]

I have three friends. I think I’m tapped out.

- Anna Seregina @ Rite Spot [Paraphrase]

[Photo by Amber Gregory]

I wish I knew anything anything about Puerto Ricans, cause I would [have been] slaying.
- Chris Thayer on a recent trip to New York @ The Rite Spot
[Photo by Yudi Echevarria]

I wish I knew anything anything about Puerto Ricans, cause I would [have been] slaying.

- Chris Thayer on a recent trip to New York @ The Rite Spot

[Photo by Yudi Echevarria]

"I’m not a racist. I never say the n-word, even if there are no n-words around"

— Kevin O’Shea @ The Rite Spot [Paraphrase]

"We’ve got a hen in this rooster road trip"

— Utrillo Kushner (Host) introducing Anna Seregina @ The Rite Spot [Paraphrase]


'Weed takes away my ambition.' What are you talking about? You're an art major. Your diploma is a medical marijuana card.

- Cameron Vannini on art students refusing drugs @ The Rite Spot [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Imran G]

'Weed takes away my ambition.' What are you talking about? You're an art major. Your diploma is a medical marijuana card.

- Cameron Vannini on art students refusing drugs @ The Rite Spot [Paraphrase]

[Photo by Imran G]

Joey Devine & Audience in: No Hats Party

  • [Joey finishes a bit mocking fedoras]
  • Audience member: FUCK HATS!
  • Joey Devine: Woah sir... I enjoy a derby.
"I know what you’re thinking ‘did he do it in blackface?’"

George Chen on his Black Muslim Bakery Halloween costume @ The Rite Spot [Paraphrase]

[Editor’s note: He didn’t do it in blackface]