sfcbf:

Late night comic burrito run! (Taken with Instagram)

sfcbf:

Late night comic burrito run! (Taken with Instagram)

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Ivan Hernandez (“Powerful brown hands delicately remove the tortilla from the grill, a mound of crisp chorizo beside it. Hands which had delivered babies while firing weapons at nationalist armed groups ladle rice upon the flour surface, black beans following in a metaphor for the mixed race relations which had created his people. Avocado sliced in mathematically equal portions lay in parallels atop the mound, green as the fields of Mars before Or’lithikk the Sunderer brought forever desert to the planet. A dollop of sour cream, maintaining its thick consistency and cold despite being encased in heated meats due to a heretofore unexplained quirk of physics. Queso fresco lies across like the rubble left in an eastern European nation after civil strife. The chorizo burns almost black, the grease it emits equivalent to the blubber obtained from an infant gray whale. A spatula slides under the chunk of pig refuse and delivers it unto its cradle. A last bit of salsa completes the equation, spicy enough to register on the palate but mild enough not to upset the blandness of said palate. With movements practiced hundreds of thousands of times to maximize efficiency, hold, and consistency of bite, the burrito forms. And in less time than it takes to sew together this Frankenstein’s Monster of ethnic cuisine, it is eaten.”) [Today!]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Ivan Hernandez (“Powerful brown hands delicately remove the tortilla from the grill, a mound of crisp chorizo beside it. Hands which had delivered babies while firing weapons at nationalist armed groups ladle rice upon the flour surface, black beans following in a metaphor for the mixed race relations which had created his people. Avocado sliced in mathematically equal portions lay in parallels atop the mound, green as the fields of Mars before Or’lithikk the Sunderer brought forever desert to the planet. A dollop of sour cream, maintaining its thick consistency and cold despite being encased in heated meats due to a heretofore unexplained quirk of physics. Queso fresco lies across like the rubble left in an eastern European nation after civil strife. The chorizo burns almost black, the grease it emits equivalent to the blubber obtained from an infant gray whale. A spatula slides under the chunk of pig refuse and delivers it unto its cradle. A last bit of salsa completes the equation, spicy enough to register on the palate but mild enough not to upset the blandness of said palate. With movements practiced hundreds of thousands of times to maximize efficiency, hold, and consistency of bite, the burrito forms. And in less time than it takes to sew together this Frankenstein’s Monster of ethnic cuisine, it is eaten.”) [Today!]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Danielle Radford (“Me in the middle of layers of hugs from apologetic exes. Or chicken/corn salsa/rice/guac/beans. But mostly the hug thing.”) [2 Days Left]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Danielle Radford (“Me in the middle of layers of hugs from apologetic exes. Or chicken/corn salsa/rice/guac/beans. But mostly the hug thing.”) [2 Days Left]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Richard Bain (“Chicken, beef, cheddar cheese, sour cream, black beans, Spanish rice, avocado, mild sauce, and weed.”) [3 Days Left]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Richard Bain (“Chicken, beef, cheddar cheese, sour cream, black beans, Spanish rice, avocado, mild sauce, and weed.”) [3 Days Left]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: DJ REAL (“The Singularity Burrito: A burrito that teleports you to anywhere in the universe whenever you take a bite. And if you choose another planet, and you’re still holding the burrito, the area immediately surrounding your body maintains Earth’s atmosphere. but you’re screwed if there’s a hostile alien attack. This is a dream burrito right?”) [5 Days Left]

[Photo by Elliot Marshall]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: DJ REAL (“The Singularity Burrito: A burrito that teleports you to anywhere in the universe whenever you take a bite. And if you choose another planet, and you’re still holding the burrito, the area immediately surrounding your body maintains Earth’s atmosphere. but you’re screwed if there’s a hostile alien attack. This is a dream burrito right?”) [5 Days Left]

[Photo by Elliot Marshall]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Jake Weisman (“Honestly anything vegetarian and i think avocados are amazing”) [5 Days Left]

[Photo by Kyle Mizono]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Jake Weisman (“Honestly anything vegetarian and i think avocados are amazing”) [5 Days Left]

[Photo by Kyle Mizono]

sfcbf:

Here’s a great blurb about Brendon Walsh from Chelsea Peretti on esquire.com today! Check it out then get your tickets to his CD recording at the Elbo Room!
http://brendoncd.eventbrite.com/

sfcbf:

Here’s a great blurb about Brendon Walsh from Chelsea Peretti on esquire.com today! Check it out then get your tickets to his CD recording at the Elbo Room!

http://brendoncd.eventbrite.com/

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Caitlin Gill (“The burrito of my dreams is a Super Carne Asada, but while I eat it I can fly. DREAMRRITO.”) [8 Days Left]

[Photo by Dan Dion]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Caitlin Gill (“The burrito of my dreams is a Super Carne Asada, but while I eat it I can fly. DREAMRRITO.”) [8 Days Left]

[Photo by Dan Dion]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Matt Ingebretson (“chicken, black beans, bacon, cheese, pico de gallo, avocado, the innocence of a baby.”) [11 Days]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Matt Ingebretson (“chicken, black beans, bacon, cheese, pico de gallo, avocado, the innocence of a baby.”) [11 Days]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Ronn Vigh (“Any day that I could afford to put both sour cream and guacamole on the same burrito, thats a dream burrito.”) [18 Days]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Ronn Vigh (“Any day that I could afford to put both sour cream and guacamole on the same burrito, thats a dream burrito.”) [18 Days]