Comedy Theme Song: “Island in the Stream” by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers

You’re afraid to go to prison and also, don’t go into a fight with a boner

- David Gborie’s conscience’s argument against fighting women @ SOM BarĀ 


I’m like the empanda lady of showing my penis 

- Ivan Hernandez on public exposure @ SOM Bar
[Photo courtesy of The Front Row. Taken at ERA Bar and Lounge]

I’m like the empanda lady of showing my penis

- Ivan Hernandez on public exposure @ SOM Bar

[Photo courtesy of The Front Row. Taken at ERA Bar and Lounge]


Why don’t they have Burning Man in Birmingham? 

- Andrew Holmgren @ SOM Bar

Why don’t they have Burning Man in Birmingham?

- Andrew Holmgren @ SOM Bar


I might be the skinniest security guard in the world, but I got a job

- Papp Johnson @ SOM Bar
[Photo by Imran G]

I might be the skinniest security guard in the world, but I got a job

- Papp Johnson @ SOM Bar

[Photo by Imran G]

"You get Tic Tacs and Certs and shit at black houses"

— Chris Riggins on African American Halloween @ SOM Bar


Anybody else ever get done masturbating and think… “I’ve had better”.

-Sierra Frost @ SOM Bar [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Shawn Robbins]

Anybody else ever get done masturbating and think… “I’ve had better”.

-Sierra Frost @ SOM Bar [Paraphrase]

[Photo by Shawn Robbins]

Victor Varnado and Chris Riggins in: Diss-Jockey

  • Victor Varando: I refuse to call you DJ, you don't deserve that badge.
  • Chris Riggins: I don't want that badge
  • Victor Varando: 'I don't want that badge'. You see that? Sour grapes.
"This place looks like an Ani DiFranco album just ended"

— Rory Hensey @ SOM Bar

"Is anyone here alone? I refuse to say “single”, political correct bullshit."

— Ryan Papazian @ SOM Bar [Paraphrase]

"I saw my first fetus in a jar and my first thought was, ‘How do I get this into a mix drink’."

— Pablo Ocegueda @ SOM Bar [Paraphrase]