"Yo Yo Momma is so fat, she plays the cello."
— Sammy Franco @ Vitus
"You may recall the show Family Matters; it was a popular sitcom from the 1990’s. In it the character Steve Urkel has a machine that he stepped into and reemerged from as Stefan. I have such a machine at my house, except when I step into it, I reemerge as Sammy Franco."
— Miles K. doing an impression of Jesse Elias at Twisted Biscuit [via J.E. + Facebook]
"I like my women like my citations for parking on the Golden Gate Bridge… double fine."
— Sammy Franco