"Basically, babies are the Green Eggs and Ham of people. You would not like them on your train, you would not like them on your plane, you would not like them with a mouse, you do not want them in your house.”

– Ron Chapman @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]
[Photo by acidsmooth]

"Basically, babies are the Green Eggs and Ham of people. You would not like them on your train, you would not like them on your plane, you would not like them with a mouse, you do not want them in your house.”

Ron Chapman @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]

[Photo by acidsmooth]

"I’m a nerdy white dude from the Bay Area, of course I’m not married to a white lady. Me and a white lady would be like be like wearing jeans and a jean jacket… It’s too matchy matchy."

Scott Simpson @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]

emilyheller:

ladyleigh89:

Emily Heller (x)

I LIKE THIS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE OTHER MEME!!!

"The thing about FDR is Elanor must have been so busy washing those leg blankets. You can’t meet the Czar of Russia, rolling around with stink knee."
– Sam Tallent @ The Knockout [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Jay Austin Graham aka acidsmooth ]

"The thing about FDR is Elanor must have been so busy washing those leg blankets. You can’t meet the Czar of Russia, rolling around with stink knee."

Sam Tallent @ The Knockout [Paraphrase]

[Photo by Jay Austin Graham aka acidsmooth ]

"I’m a sensible adult, I use coasters, until [I have] sex and then it’s FLUIDS EVERYWHERE!"

Matt Lieb @ The Knockout [Paraphrase]

Bernadette Luckett (#Native) on Spotlight Cafe

A lot of cool SF Comedy pictures, to see if you got captured candidly. p.s. THIS IS A POWERPLAY TO GET RED TO UPDATE HIS FUCKING TUMBLR ( redscott )

fuckyeahtignotaro:

Tig Notaro in Stanford. (2014)

fuckyeahtignotaro:

Tig Notaro in Stanford. (2014)

"I Don’t Hit My Kid" by Keith Lowell Jensen

Stand Upping at Punch Line Sacramento in December 2013. I don’t hit my kid and somehow this is a point of contention between me and some of my friends.

3/26. Hari Kondabolu @ The Independent. 628 Divisadero St, San Francisco, CA. 8PM. $15. Tickets: Here

[On the heels of his brand new album, Waiting for 2042, Hari jumps back into the Bay (from whence the album came). One of the best, most raw, most thoughtful and—in my book—most important comedians, playing one of the City’s best venues and all that’s needed is YOU. Spread the word. RSVP. It’s gonna be dope!]