"I’m existential but I also love pizza."
— Jane Harrison @ Ivy Room [Paraphrase]
"Pluto is in the “friend zone” of planets."
— George Chen @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]
"[Republicans] voted forty two times to repeal the law. Sounds a little obsessive compulsive, which is a mental disease, which is ironically covered in Obamacare"
— Henry Hopkins @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]
"If somebody asks you if you want ‘extra mustard’ [on your sandwich], they want to fuck!"
— Daryus Monday on sandwich delusion @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]
"There’s all these social networks: Facebook, Twitter, Vine, Pinterest. I feel like I just need my space."
— Andrew Orolfo on being overwhelmed by the Internet @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]
"I killed somebody in cold blood. I drowned them in it."
— Christopher John @ Ivy Room [Paraphrase]