"I’ve lowered my standards before. Fun fact: ugly people still dump you."
— Susannah Claire @ Amnesia Open Mic [Paraphrase]
"I’m depressed and suicidal but in the happiest way you can do it."
— Jessica Sele @ Amnesia Open Mic [Paraphrase]
"If you have to DARE your kids to not do drugs, maybe you’re not adequately prepared to be a parent."
— Raum Dee @ Amnesia Open Mic [Paraphrase]
"Yesterday, I got drunk because I accidentally swallowed mouthwash."
— Tim Young @ Amnesia [Paraphrase]
"It’s mighty courageous to tell jokes about your dad and your penis. It’s real courageous to talk about how you can’t hold a job, or a girlfriend, or a hammer…"
— Juan Medina, in a Southern pastor voice, hosting @ Amnesia Bar. [Paraphrase]