"My cat had her litter on the side of the highway…she was fined $1000"

Dutch Savage @ Jambalaya [Paraphrased] 

Luke Lockfeld & Audience in: Cool

  • Luke Lockfeld: You guys are pretty cool.
  • Audience Member: Tell another joke!
  • Luke Lockfeld: You're the only not-cool one.

CU Last Tuesday Rewind by Savage Henry Independent Times featuring excerpts from Joe Deschaine, Kim Hodges, Zeke Herrera, Ivy Vasquez, Josh Duke, Kevin Munroe and Brandon Stokes. Recorded Live at The Jambalaya in Arcata, CA. 


"There’s not a community for creepy young girls. It’s kinda isolating."

- Kate Willett on adolescence @ Blondies/S.H.I.Ts and Giggles Festival [Paraphrase]

"There’s not a community for creepy young girls. It’s kinda isolating."

- Kate Willett on adolescence @ Blondies/S.H.I.Ts and Giggles Festival [Paraphrase]

Favorite Things of Last Night: “It’s Only Two Minutes: ‘I Like My…’”

Ugh. I’m still exhausted from the 2nd Annual S.H.I.Ts and Giggles Festival in Humboldt. No sleep for three days in a quicksand of flavors and a glorious humming glow of a unbearable camaraderie… it was intense. One of the many highlights of the experience was the “It’s Only Two Minutes” show. The premise of the show includes candid, free-association, improvisational stand-up within condensed distress and competition. In the beginning, the audience was only composed of comedians, towards the end, a glazed mixture of appreciative listeners caramelized around the event’s rim. The middle, completely uproarious. “It’s Only Two Minutes” works well within the familial vibe of S.H.I.Ts and Giggles, most beautifully encapsulated in the concluding ‘I Like My…’ Game where comedians improvise paternalesque one-liners from crowd-culled prompts. Here are some of my favorite responses from the show, occurring 08/24/2013

"I like my women like I like my ‘9/11’s: going down on everybody!" - Brandon Stokes

"I like my women like I like my ‘tofu’: tasteless and pretentious." - Marcia Belsky

"I like my women like I like my ‘freedom fighters’: Black!" - Danny Felts

"I like my women like I like my ‘mother’: showing absolutely no affection for my father." - Andre Parker

"I like my men like I like my ‘parachute’: willing to open up or we’re both gonna die." - Emmett Montgomery (Champion).

"I got a stepladder and it sucks. It’s not my biological ladder."

Dutch Savage @ Humbrews/S.H.I.Ts and Giggles Festival

Nicole Calasich recording Nicole Calasich @ Blondies/S.H.I.Ts and Giggles

Nicole Calasich recording Nicole Calasich @ Blondies/S.H.I.Ts and Giggles


In the old days, the mini-map WAS the game, you WERE the triangle!

- Dr. Foxmeat @ Mazzotti/S.H.I.Ts and Giggles [Paraphrase]

In the old days, the mini-map WAS the game, you WERE the triangle!

- Dr. Foxmeat @ Mazzotti/S.H.I.Ts and Giggles [Paraphrase]

Matt Lieb and Audience in... Pretty Big

  • Matt Lieb: I may not be the funniest comic but I will be the tallest comic...
  • Audience Member: I don't know! That black guy [OJ Patterson] was pretty big!
"I fucked a ghost once."

— Ivy Vasquez’s parting words @ Humbrews/S.H.I.Ts and Giggles Festival.