"Of course Jesus was a nigga, he was sold for 30 pieces of silver… If he was white, he would be have been sold for 72 bars of gold."

— Charles Kelly @ Dorsey’s Locker/Blue Candle Open Mic [Paraphrase]

"Someone accused me of being a serial dater. Which is true, because I’ve dated all the flakes, all the fruit loops, and contrary to popular belief, if you eat cocoa puffs, you can go back."

— Cheryl White @ Dorsey’s Locker/Blue Candle Open Mic [Paraphrase]