San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Nate Craig (“tater tots, avocado, chicken mole and naked women doing pilates.”) [33 Days Left]

[Photo via Atrossity Photography]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Nate Craig (“tater tots, avocado, chicken mole and naked women doing pilates.”) [33 Days Left]

[Photo via Atrossity Photography]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Matt Goldich (“Anything in a burrito bowl. I’m gluten free :( ”) [34 Days Left]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Matt Goldich (“Anything in a burrito bowl. I’m gluten free :( ”) [34 Days Left]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Martha Kelly (“My dream burrito = ground beef, rice, lettuce, & cheese with red sauce, sour cream & guacamole on top. Did I win? #probably”) [37 Days Left]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Martha Kelly (“My dream burrito = ground beef, rice, lettuce, & cheese with red sauce, sour cream & guacamole on top. Did I win? #probably”) [37 Days Left]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Janine Brito (“I’ll go with carnitas with pinto beans and avocado lovingly fed to me by Christina Hendricks while sitting by a pile of kittens.”) [38 Days]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Janine Brito (I’ll go with carnitas with pinto beans and avocado lovingly fed to me by Christina Hendricks while sitting by a pile of kittens.[38 Days]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Katie Compa (“The Little Chihuahua… fried plantain and black bean… CARNITIAS”) [41 Days]

Well, even if it’s hilarious, I can’t abide the thought of an inedible burrito. What a cruel joke. In general, I’m not crazy about very many things that I can’t eat (other people’s food, IKEA furniture, Republicans, etc).
I also have almost no tolerance for spicy food which really cramps my style on the hot sauce/salsa front. 
With these caveats in mind, my ideal burrito:
First off, it’s from The Little Chihuahua. (I went 3 times in a week last time I was out.) One of their finest bougie burritos (or as Ivan put it in that video of us that you posted back in 2010, “Arcade Fire doing a cover of La Bamba”)— probably the fried plantain and black bean burrito, because it beats out the garlic shrimp burrito for its capacity to taste amazing with some muthafuckin’ carnitas. CARNITAS!!! (Sometimes I yell it out my window in NYC, just like that. So far, no carnitas have appeared.) And copious amounts of chips, of course.

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Katie Compa (“The Little Chihuahua… fried plantain and black bean… CARNITIAS”[41 Days]

Well, even if it’s hilarious, I can’t abide the thought of an inedible burrito. What a cruel joke. In general, I’m not crazy about very many things that I can’t eat (other people’s food, IKEA furniture, Republicans, etc).

I also have almost no tolerance for spicy food which really cramps my style on the hot sauce/salsa front. 

With these caveats in mind, my ideal burrito:

First off, it’s from The Little Chihuahua. (I went 3 times in a week last time I was out.) One of their finest bougie burritos (or as Ivan put it in that video of us that you posted back in 2010, “Arcade Fire doing a cover of La Bamba”)— probably the fried plantain and black bean burrito, because it beats out the garlic shrimp burrito for its capacity to taste amazing with some muthafuckin’ carnitas. CARNITAS!!! (Sometimes I yell it out my window in NYC, just like that. So far, no carnitas have appeared.) And copious amounts of chips, of course.

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: John Roy (“I think the bleeding edge of burrito innovation is multiple meats. Let’s do rice, beans. cheese, tomato, pork AND beef.”) [42 Days]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: John Roy (“I think the bleeding edge of burrito innovation is multiple meats. Let’s do rice, beans. cheese, tomato, pork AND beef.”[42 Days]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Chris Thayer (“My standard is a veggie burrito with refried beans, cheese, rice, avocado. Cuco’s on Haight even puts fried plantains in theirs!”) [44 Days]

"When I venture into meat, however, I become a deranged carnivorous scientist; I hope to one day consume a Super Burrito (w/ pinto beans, cheese, rice, avocado, sour cream) that contains both Chorizo and Camarones a la Diabla. 
I really miss the breakfast burritos from places like Viva & Nico’s in Tucson, AZ. They’re usually just bacon, egg, potato, & cheese, but I have yet to have one in SF that compares.
*Please note: no salsa fresca in my burritos because it makes them cold and soupy and no shredded lettuce in any burrito ever because yuck.”


[Photo by Rob Williamson]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Chris Thayer (“My standard is a veggie burrito with refried beans, cheese, rice, avocado. Cuco’s on Haight even puts fried plantains in theirs!”[44 Days]

"When I venture into meat, however, I become a deranged carnivorous scientist; I hope to one day consume a Super Burrito (w/ pinto beans, cheese, rice, avocado, sour cream) that contains both Chorizo and Camarones a la Diabla. 

I really miss the breakfast burritos from places like Viva & Nico’s in Tucson, AZ. They’re usually just bacon, egg, potato, & cheese, but I have yet to have one in SF that compares.

*Please note: no salsa fresca in my burritos because it makes them cold and soupy and no shredded lettuce in any burrito ever because yuck.”

[Photo by Rob Williamson]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Alice Wetterlund (“Potato! Potato rajas cilantro!”) [44 Days]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Alice Wetterlund (Potato! Potato rajas cilantro![44 Days]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: George P Gordon III (“One that was free. Who doesn’t want a free burrito!”) [48 Days]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: George P Gordon III (“One that was free. Who doesn’t want a free burrito!”[48 Days]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Sharon Houston (“Something w/Korean flair, like Kogi truck would make a taco but it would be a burrito. YUM.”) [48 Days]

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Sharon Houston (“Something w/Korean flair, like Kogi truck would make a taco but it would be a burrito. YUM.”[48 Days]