"I got fired because it turns out that taking two shits at work isn’t the same as giving two shits at work."
— May May Oskan @ Dirty Trix Saloon [Paraphrase]
"OJ, the thing I like about you is that you have nothing in common with OJ Simpson, except I hear your laughters in my sleep."
— Jessica Sele @ The Night Light [Paraphrase]
"They that sex is a drug, which makes sense because I have/would/will totally suck dick for it."
— Allison Mick @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]