— Michael James Benson @ The Comedy Store [Paraphrase]
- Keith D'Souza: It's cold right now. I so cold that you would go into a basement and watch comedians play video games... (to audience) Are you guys huge video game fanatics?
- Audience Member: No, we came to the wrong show.
- Keith D'Souza: Well, it's too late now! The doors are locked!
— Molly Hart @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]