— Chase Bernstein @ Dirty Trix
- Sammy Obeid: Please, someone say something that they learned tonight.
- Audience Member: Don't be a comedian.
- [APPLAUSE BREAK]
- Joe Gorman: Did it get dark or did it just get real?
- Audience Member: Both!
- Joe Gorman: Yes, it's always darkest before the punchline.
— Travis Curry at a big-time, big-body heckler @ Tommy T’s Showroom
- Zeke Greenwald: [pantomimes talking]
- Bar Patron: It got reeaaaaal quite in here.
- Zeke Greenwald: SHUT UP!
- [Applause Break]
— Brendan Lynch at a lethargic couple @ San Francisco Punch Line [Paraphrase]
- Leo: I'm from Kentucky, and you San Francisco people have to be the rudest people I've met in my fucking life
- Audience Member: Hey fuck you.