Valerie Branch and the Deco Bar in: Homonyms

  • Valerie Branch: I'm what is known as an ally [to the gay community]
  • Deco Bar: Or a fruit fly.
  • Valerie Branch: Or a fruit fly.
  • Deco Bar: Or Goldilocks.
  • Valerie Branch: Or Goldilocks... Goldilocks? I've never heard that one before.
"Why do gay men call their assholes “pussy”? Don’t they know that if it was a pussy, I wouldn’t want it."

— Jesse, the Bartender @ Deco

"I don’t need your blog anymore. Somebody else who likes my material and has actually gotten me followers. But thanks for the support, it was nice… and obscure to be featured."

— Charlie Ballard @ Deco [Paraphrase]

"I saw dolphin snuff porn… it’s really hard to watch a dolphin die."

— Pam Benjamin on futuristic dolphin pornography @ Deco.

"That was technically a call back… to my puberty."

— David Cairns on his voice cracking @ Deco

"Ugh, my lips touched the microphone."

— Nina G @ Deco Lounge [Paraphrase]

Conrad Roth and Scot Free in... Deco

  • Scot Free: Why are you hung over?
  • Conrad Roth: I drink... so much.
"I love tomatoes! It doesn’t have to be funny if its genuine!"

— Melanie O’Brien @ Deco Lounge [Paraphrase]

Josh Di Donato. Marriage/Letting Go.

MondayComedyNews (9/5/2011)

Kat House (Comedy/Burlesque) @ Club 93. 93 9th St. SF. $5. 10 PM. Feat OJ (me), Kevin O’Shea, Melanie O’Brien, Keith D, Cameron Vannini and more. Hosted by Kittie Von Tittie. More Information: Here. (Photo by. Amber Gregory)

50 Mason Secret Society @ 50 Mason Social Club. SF. Free. 10 PM. Featuring Joe Tobin, Caitlin Gill, Chris Thayer, Bucky Sinister, Matt Morales and Julian Vance.

The Buzz Open Mic and Comedy Show @ Mama Buzz Cafe. 2318 Telegraph Ave. Oakland. 7:30.

Deco Open Mic. 510 Larkin. SF. 7-9 PM. Contact DecoFunnyMondays at gmail dot com for bookings. [Boomshakala!]

 Nick’s Crispy Taco/The Rouge Open Mic with Travis Curry and Paul Brumbaugh. 1500 Broadway. SF. Sign Ups: 9:00. Show: 9:30. Free [but buy some tacos].

Club Deluxe. 1511 Haight St. SF. 9:00 PM. $5. [Nor Cal Comedy Competition]

Nutty Monday’s Open Mic and Showcase @ The Stony Inn. 1320 Del Paso Blvd. 7:30 pm. Sacramento. Hosted by: Tristan Johnson.