"'Breaking Bad' kept people off meth, because if you sold your television you couldn't watch 'Breaking Bad', which is just as addictive as meth."
— Aviva Siegel @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]
"If I ever went missing I want my picture to be on an eggnog carton."
— Kyle Mizono @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]
"Someone accused me of being a serial dater. Which is true, because I’ve dated all the flakes, all the fruit loops, and contrary to popular belief, if you eat cocoa puffs, you can go back."
— Cheryl White @ Dorsey’s Locker/Blue Candle Open Mic [Paraphrase]