1/5. The Friend Zone (Free Comedy) @ Dirty Trix Saloon. 408 Clement St. SF. 9PM. Featuring  Cameron Vannini, Jules Posner, Josef Anolin, Kyle Mizono, Neel Nanda, Tushar Singh, Ivan Hernandez, Kate Willett and Kevin Munroe. Hosted and Produced by Matt Louv. 

Join us in the Friend Zone this Saturday, as we invent straw-man fantasies about how girls only like guys who are mean to them and ride motorcycles, instead of confronting the reality that we just don’t have any interesting skills and say things out loud like Ninja Turtles are mutants not aliens god dammit Michael Bay you punk asshole motherfucker.

Comedy Last Supper featuring Jason Wheeler, Conor Kellicutt, Jesus (Matt Gubser), Keith Lowell Jensen, Trevor Hill and Ivan Hernandez by Danielle Mandella

11/29. Storking Comedy @ Stork Club. 2330 Telegraph Ave. Oakland. 6:30pm-9:00pm. Free. Featuring Andrew Holmgren, Colleen Watson and Ivan Hernandez. Open Mic Sign Ups: 6:00pm. Hosted by OJ Patterson

You are cordially invited to Storking Comedy, a one-of-a-kind comedy show in the heart of downtown Oakland. Hosted by OJ Patterson (no relation), Storking Comedy features amazingly funny local comedians working on their craft. Following each act, an interview with the host provides in depth elaboration coupled with ribbing rapport. 

Our first spotlight performers:

Ivan Hernandez (Spirited, loquacious, enthusiast, “Boars, Gore, and Swords” Podcast)

Colleen Watson (Sarcastic, daring, macabre, San Francisco Punch Line)

Andrew Holmgren (Evergreen, quick-witted, stoner, Get Yucked Up)

Also, accompanying the merrymaking is of course: you. All comedians, hobbyist, amateur or professional, are welcome to participate limited open mic happening from 6:30-8:00pm. Sign-up: 6:00pm. 

San Francisco Comedy and Burrito Festival Countdown: Ivan Hernandez (“Powerful brown hands delicately remove the tortilla from the grill, a mound of crisp chorizo beside it. Hands which had delivered babies while firing weapons at nationalist armed groups ladle rice upon the flour surface, black beans following in a metaphor for the mixed race relations which had created his people. Avocado sliced in mathematically equal portions lay in parallels atop the mound, green as the fields of Mars before Or’lithikk the Sunderer brought forever desert to the planet. A dollop of sour cream, maintaining its thick consistency and cold despite being encased in heated meats due to a heretofore unexplained quirk of physics. Queso fresco lies across like the rubble left in an eastern European nation after civil strife. The chorizo burns almost black, the grease it emits equivalent to the blubber obtained from an infant gray whale. A spatula slides under the chunk of pig refuse and delivers it unto its cradle. A last bit of salsa completes the equation, spicy enough to register on the palate but mild enough not to upset the blandness of said palate. With movements practiced hundreds of thousands of times to maximize efficiency, hold, and consistency of bite, the burrito forms. And in less time than it takes to sew together this Frankenstein’s Monster of ethnic cuisine, it is eaten.”) [Today!]