"[Before sex] I’ve always wanted to see an erect penis and say, ‘Did I do that?’"

- Aviva Siegel's Steve Urkle homage @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]

"[Before sex] I’ve always wanted to see an erect penis and say, ‘Did I do that?’"

- Aviva Siegel's Steve Urkle homage @ Ivy Room Open Mic [Paraphrase]


"A friend of mine said, "I came to San Francisco to come out of the closet. Now I live in one and I’m paying $2000 for it."

– Tom Ammiano @ Comedy Day [Paraphrase]

"A friend of mine said, "I came to San Francisco to come out of the closet. Now I live in one and I’m paying $2000 for it."

– Tom Ammiano @ Comedy Day [Paraphrase]


"I saw this guy in a club the other day that was filling women with water and vinegar. What a douche! Yeah, I said it!"

- Bob Lieberman @ Kingman’s Ivy Room [Paraphrase]
[Photo by Corie Gipson]

"I saw this guy in a club the other day that was filling women with water and vinegar. What a douche! Yeah, I said it!"

- Bob Lieberman @ Kingman’s Ivy Room [Paraphrase]

[Photo by Corie Gipson]

luggagetuesdays:

Support your Spiegelman. Pick up the Mike Spiegelman Jokebook for only $1.99. (via The Mike Spiegelman Joke Book)

luggagetuesdays:

Support your Spiegelman. Pick up the Mike Spiegelman Jokebook for only $1.99. (via The Mike Spiegelman Joke Book)

emilyheller:

Happy Monday.

[Robyn Williams by Emily Heller]

emilyheller:

Happy Monday.

[Robyn Williams by Emily Heller]


Does anybody know how to take out extentions?… I might have to get into a fight with a woman in a Burger King in Oakland.

- Alex Koll @ San Francisco Punch Line [Paraphrase] 

Does anybody know how to take out extentions?… I might have to get into a fight with a woman in a Burger King in Oakland.

- Alex Koll @ San Francisco Punch Line [Paraphrase] 

Ironic Bonds by. Robin Higgins and Phil Morganelli: Danger Chem

Ironic Bonds by. Robin Higgins and Phil MorganelliDanger Chem

"…Christmas, a day picked randomly by time and man through a mixture of history and myth, a single day of appointed joy, that came to be by a series of events and misconceptions and attempts by the church to subjugate the pagan religion…. Aww the Holidays."

— Conor Kellicutt (via Facebook)

Weekend Dad by. James Fluty

Weekend Dad by. James Fluty

Comedy Theme Song: “Rapper’s Delight” by. the Sugar Hill Gang.