— Keith D on “ra ra comedy” before getting applause @ Milk Bar/It’s Only Two Minutes [Paraphrase]
- Keith D'Souza: It's cold right now. I so cold that you would go into a basement and watch comedians play video games... (to audience) Are you guys huge video game fanatics?
- Audience Member: No, we came to the wrong show.
- Keith D'Souza: Well, it's too late now! The doors are locked!
— Keith D’Souza on the universal addictiveness of fried chicken @ Lost Weekend Video [Paraphrase]