"You guys ready for my high self esteem comedy?"

— Amy Miller @ Massés Sports Bar and Grill [Paraphrase]

"I’ve performed in front of empty chairs and tables all over this country… I’m glad they didn’t turn off the TV’s so that I can watch guys my size make millions of dollars. I’m getting paid in chicken strips. I should have done something with my life!"

— Kevin Munroe @ Masses Sports Bar and Grill [Paraphrase]

Mimi Vilmenay and Audience in "Origins"

  • Mimi: You guys, what do you think I am? Just shout it out.
  • Audience: Caribbean!
  • Mimi: Close.
  • Audience: Jewish!
  • Mimi: No... I wish. Aw, to be one of the chosen people.
"I would be a gross homosexual. I’m already a gross heterosexual."

— James Fluty @ Masses Sports Bar and Grill [Paraphrase]

Hey guys. I’m performing at Masses (2721 North Main St.) in Walnut Creek @ 9 pm today. No Cover, Cheap Beer. Some of my favorites are on the bill so its bound to be a good time.

Hey guys. I’m performing at Masses (2721 North Main St.) in Walnut Creek @ 9 pm today. No Cover, Cheap Beer. Some of my favorites are on the bill so its bound to be a good time.

Wednesday Comedy News: 7/20/2011

Gastalt Comedy Showcase. 3159 16th St. SF. 9 PM. No Cover. Hosted by Joe Gorman and David Cairns. [Good food and drink available as well.]

W. Kamau Bell & Kevin Avery @punchlinesf . 444 Battery St. SF. 8 PM. $15. Featuring Janine Brito.


Sylvan Productions Open-Mic @ Dirty Trix. 408 Clement St. SF. 9 PM.

Blue Room @ The Stud. 9th & Harrison St. 9 PM. Free. [Word on the street is that a documentary camera crew will be filming this night. Quick, somebody call Sweet Gale!]

Ladies Night at the Brainwash. Hosted by Kristee Ono. Sign Ups: 7:30. Show: 8ish. 

The Business @ Dark Room Theater. 2263 Mission Street. $5. 8 PM. Featuring Chris Garcia, Bucky Sinister & Guests: Greg Edwards and Paco Romane

No Alex? No Sean? No problem! The Business welcomes two exciting guests from near and far to hold down the fort with Chris and Bucky this week. From Los Angeles, we welcome San Francisco expatriate Greg Edwards, and from just a few blocks away in the Mission, we welcome Paco Romane.

Greg Edwards is a native of Virginia who cut his comedy teeth in the Bay. Now he’s brought his one-liners, handsome good looks, and southern charm to Los Angeles, but makes a triumphant return to the Business this week. Paco Romane is a comedian and actor, a member of the sketch group Killing My Lobster, and the producer of The Romane Event, a monthly comedy showcase at the Make-Out Room.

As always, the show is just five dollars and burrito-eating is tolerated - nay, encouraged!

Wednesday Night Comedy @ Masses Sports Bar and Grill. 2721 North Main St. Walnut Creek. 9 PM. 21+. No Cover. Featuring Headliner Greg Asdourian, Ellery Urquhart, Butch Escobar, Dave DeLuca. Hosted by David Studebaker.

Greg Asdourian and Marga Gomez

Greg Asdourian and Marga Gomez

Wednesday Comedy Highlights (4/20/2011)

Griffin Daley and Co @ The Purple Onion. 140 Columbus Ave. SF. 8 PM. 21+. $10. Brendan Lynch, Brian King, Justin Harrison, Lydia Popovich and headliner Emily Heller. Hosted by Griffin Daley. [North Beach Comedy, Potent Line Up.]

420 Comedy Smoke-Tacular @ the San Jose Improv. 62 S. 2nd St. San Jose. 7 PM. $12. 18+. 2 Drink Minimum. Featuring Kris Tinkle, Conor Kellicutt, Rob F. Martinez, Dan R. Wilson, and Danny Acosta. Hosted by Kevin O’Shea. [No garnish needed for this one]

Sylvan Productions Open-Mic @ Dirty Trix. 408 Clement St. SF. 9 PM.

Open Mic @ Senzala. 250 East Java Drive. Sunnyvale. Sign-Ups: 9:15. Show: 9:30-12:30. Hosted by. Imran G. 

High-Larious Blue Room @ The Stud. 9th & Harrison St. 9 PM. Free. Featuring Mike Spiegelman, Duat Mai, Dan Edwards, Kristee Ono, Susan Maletta and more. Hosted by David Hawkins and Kelly Anneken

Ladies Night at the Brainwash. Hosted by Kristee Ono. Sign Ups: 7:30. Show: 8ish. 

The Business @ Dark Room Theater. 2263 Mission Street. $5. 8 PM. Featuring Chris Garcia, Bucky Sinister, Sean Keane, Alex Koll and guests: Jake Weisman, Dave Ross and Shawn Pearlman.

Ignore that other, number-based occasion going on this Wednesday and roll to The Dark Room to help us celebrate our huge deuce! The Business turns two this week and we couldn’t be prouder of our little trainwreck. In honor of this new leaf, we’ve got a roster that’s packed hella fat. We’ve imported three strains of kind buds from LA to perform for you, as well as the dank home-grown shit you know and love.

From the finest clubs… in Los Angeles:

Jake Weisman is a comedian and storyteller. He loves cats and podcasts, and he has two of each. One of his podcasts, The Morning After…Podcast, is about pornography, and it recently won Punchline Magazine’s 2010 Best New Comedy Podcast of the Year award. Just to remind you, he loves cats.

Dave Ross is a stand-up comedian and the creator of the wildly successful Holy F*ck comedy show. He performs regularly at renowned shows and clubs across California, including What’s Up Tiger Lily? and the Hollywood Improv. His comedy career began as a radio DJ at KRZR in Fresno, but he quickly decided to leave and make less money standing on stages. He’s smiley as hell and probably likes you.

Shawn Pearlman is from Los Angeles, CA (where nobody is from). In his hometown, he has performed at Comedy Death Ray at UCB, Largo at the Coronet, the Hollywood Improv, and that’s all. Just kidding, other places too! He is never homesick.

And keeping it local we have the Businessmen selection: Alex, Sean, Chris and Bucky. Plus a special video premiere from Chris!

While other shows going on this Wednesday may offer you a free “medical” gift, we still believe laughter is the best medicine you can get without having to pay a fake doctor to give you a state-recognized identification card. All you need to get our goods is five on it. And if you get the munchies, we are surrounded by burritos.

Wednesday Night Comedy @ Masses Sports Bar and Grill. 2721 North Main St. Walnut Creek. 9 PM. 21+. No Cover. Featuring Howard Stone, Cory Loykasek, Grant Lyon, Andy Peters and headliner Frankie Quiñones. Hosted by Greg Asdourian.

Comedy on a Wednesday “SAY WHAT!” 4/13/2011

For the People Comedy Tour @ The Sacramento Punchline. 2100 Arden Way #225. 8 PM. $13. Featuring Frankie Quiñones, Janine Brito, Cory Loykasek, Bryan Yang, Jabari Davis and special guest Rodger Lizaola. 

Open Mic @ Senzala. 250 East Java Drive. Sunnyvale. Sign-Ups: 9:15. Show: 9:30-12:30. Hosted by. Imran G. 

Blue Room @ The Stud. 9th & Harrison St. 9 PM. Free. Hosted by David Hawkins and Kelly Anneken

Promedy at the Brainwash. Hosted by Kristee Ono. Sign Ups: 7:30. Show: 8ish. (I’m taking a limo) 

The Business @ Dark Room Theater. 2263 Mission Street. $5. 8 PM. Featuring Chris Garcia, Bucky Sinister, Sean Keane, Alex Koll and guests: Kevin O’Shea and Stefan Stignei

This week the Business welcomes SF’s own Kevin O’Shea, LA’s own Stefan Stignei and welcomes back founding Businessman Alex Koll! 

Alex has been touring this great country of ours, performing his magical stand-up and exploring every diner, drive-in, and Zagat-rated rest stop along the way. He’s back this Wednesday, with laser-like focus, a chip on his shoulder, and a dynamite recipe for chili con carne that will knock your socks off.

Kevin O’Shea is a friend to the Business and a force in the San Francisco comedy scene. He’s performed at Sketchfest and produced such shows as Funny Jerks, Blah! Blah! Blah!, and the short-lived cult sketch favorite, Frown Land. Please enjoy his dark, rough-and-tumble, absurdist comedy - but keep your hands where Kevin can see them, pilgrim.

Stefan Stignei is a comedian from Los Angeles who performs at the Comedy Store, the Hollywood Improv, and many other spots. He’s an expert on video games and a savant at one-liners. And if you have anything disparaging to say about Oregon State University, he will leg wrestle you on the spot.

We’ve also got Bucky, Chris, and Sean on hand to help out. As always, the Dark Room is BYO-Burrito, and Cancun Taqueria remains across the street. Five bucks, 8 PM.

Wednesday Night Comedy @ Masses Sports Bar and Grill. 2721 North Main St. Walnut Creek. 9 PM. 21+. No Cover. Featuring Joe Gorman, Trevor Hill, John Hoogasian and headliner Kris Tinkle. Hosted by Greg Asdourian. 

Wednesday Comedy News: 3/23/2011

South Bay Open Mic @ Senzala. 250 East Java Drive. Sunnyvale. Sign-Ups: 9:15. Show: 9:30-12:30. Hosted by. Imran G. 

New Name!

 Blue Room @ The Stud. 9th & Harrison St. 9 PM. Free. Hosted by: David Hawkins and Kelly Anneken contact: studcomedy @ yahoo dot com for bookings (This show fills up with comedians very fast).

Ladies Night at the Brainwash. Hosted by Kristee Ono. Sign Ups: 7:30. Show: 8ish.(Always a good time. Female friendly. Girlfriend friendly?) 

Business @ Dark Room Theater. 2263 Mission Street. $5. 8 PM. Featuring Sean Keane, Bucky Sinister, Chris Garcia, Apprentice- Chris Thayer and guest: Jesse Fernandez.

The Business keeps going strong, with Sean, Chris, Bucky, and interim Businessman Chris Thayer bringing the comedy thunder, and special guest Jesse Fernandez bringing his new short film. I don’t know the title of the new film, but I’m assuming it has to do with high school wrestling, living in Vacaville, and/or animation. Regardless, it qualifies as a Thing He Made. 

Jesse’s films have won countless awards over the years, much as The Business has won countless hearts of audience members over the years. We’ll continue to win - and break - hearts this Wednesday. 8 PM, five bucks, tacos are across the street.

Tonight: Big Al’s Big Ass Comedy Jam @ John Colins. 138 Minna. SF. 9 PM. $5. Featuring John Hoogasian, Chris Storin, Josef Anolin, Sammy Obeid, Justin Harrison and more. Hosted by. Big Al Gonzales.  [Good showcase with more than capable performers, for the people who need a Wednesday activity now that LOST is off the air.]

Tonight: Big Al’s Big Ass Comedy Jam @ John Colins. 138 Minna. SF. 9 PM. $5. Presented by: Big Al Gonzales

Wednesday Night Comedy @ Masses Sports Bar and Grill. 2721 North Main St. Walnut Creek. 9 PM. 21+. No Cover. Kelly Anneken, Gina Ritter, Joey Devine and headliner Sean Keane. Hosted by Greg Asdourian.