"If bands are considered a ‘business’, KISS is the Bennigan’s of metal bands."
— Aviva Siegel @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]
"Have you ever tried to shit your pants then accidentally sneezed?"
— Mark Smalls @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]
"I majored in mathematics because I wanted my useless degree to be hard. I liked majoring in math because I’m always right. Not because I think I’m right. I was objectively right!"
— Erik Krasner @ Critical Hit (Comedy)/It’s Your Move [Paraphrase]
"Here’s an a-to-b joke: Life is like a box of chocolates: a thoughtless gift that the recipient has to pretend to appreciate."
— Sara Reihani @ Critical Hit (Comedy)/It’s Your Move [Paraphrase]