"The economy is so shitty I heard it’s going to take three to tango. I found out that the opposite of “forward” is “Hayward”."
— Jason Dove @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase. Full Set: Here @ 39:12]
"A plane hit a building. We got to watch it on TV in class. My teacher cried. [I] went home [after] an hour. And they’re swearing on TV. If you’re saying that’s not the coolest thing in the world when you’re in the 5th grade, then fuck you."
— George Cruickshank explaining childish sociopathy during 9/11 @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]
"I JUST READ A BOOK recent… [corrects self] Well, I listened to a book recently. Audio books, it’s the bomb; get all of the juice but none of the squeezing."
— Stephen Furey @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase. Full Set: Here @ 34:35]