"The juxtaposition of laughter and snoring… this is art, this is art."

Caitlin Gill @ #24HourCynicCave / Lost Weekend Video [Paraphrase]

"What is life, but a riff?"

Ivan Hernandez @ 24HourCynicCave/Lost Weekend Video [Paraphrase]

"I’m depressed and suicidal but in the happiest way you can do it."

Jessica Sele @ Amnesia Open Mic [Paraphrase]

"Kim[berly Rose Wendt] had that look on her face like, ‘Oh shit, I hope we can be still friends after placing everybody in this situation that may go poorly.’"

Jules Posner on “producer face” @ Bar 355 [Paraphrase]


[Joe gets nervous as a Tenderloin audience member approaches the front row.] 
"I don’t like how my "white guy" came out just then. Who wants to walk me to BART after this?"

– Joe Gorman @ Lower Branch [Paraphrase]

[Joe gets nervous as a Tenderloin audience member approaches the front row.]

"I don’t like how my "white guy" came out just then. Who wants to walk me to BART after this?"

Joe Gorman @ Lower Branch [Paraphrase]

"[Boyfriends] can say anything they want and I won’t want talk to them, if it’s during Game of Thrones. ‘Don’t Talk During Game of Thrones’, those are my house words. They Greyjoy’s are ‘We Do Not Sow’. WE DO NOT TALK!"

Allison Mick @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase. Full Set: Here @ 15:35]


"Greyhound is for pregnant teens [audience groans] and ex convicts. Oh is there a lot of pregnant teens in the audience? Well, I did get cheers for [mentioning] Fresno.”

– Julian Vance @ San Francisco Punch Line [Paraphrase]

"Greyhound is for pregnant teens [audience groans] and ex convicts. Oh is there a lot of pregnant teens in the audience? Well, I did get cheers for [mentioning] Fresno.”

Julian Vance @ San Francisco Punch Line [Paraphrase]

(Source: julianvance)

"I once saw a magician pull a classified section out of his hat… followed by a red pen."

Ray Molina riffing against unemployed magicians @ San Francisco Punch Line [Paraphrase]

"I’m trying to figure out what part of Oakland you’re from because you’re very quiet… I want to move there."

Karinda Dobbins addressing the lethargic crowd @ The Night Light [Paraphrase]


"I’m trying to do crowd-work as a dreidel!"

- Joey Devine spinning out on a heckler @ Roxie Theater/Seanukkah

"I’m trying to do crowd-work as a dreidel!"

- Joey Devine spinning out on a heckler @ Roxie Theater/Seanukkah