"I’m like a lethargic Juggernaut, except I don’t have a crystal in my forehead! … The thing that can stop lethargic Juggernaut is a crowd."
— Josh Marcus plowing through a set @ Sports Basement/Good Times at the Grotto [Paraphrase]
"VIP Heaven is a gym with bottle service."
— Josh Androsky @ The Night Light [Paraphrase]
"OJ, the thing I like about you is that you have nothing in common with OJ Simpson, except I hear your laughters in my sleep."
— Jessica Sele @ The Night Light [Paraphrase]
"Why am I a communications major? I just yell at people."
— Ryan Papazian @ Dirty Trix [Paraphrase]
"This is what Oakland is about: cooperation and ignoring bad comedy"
— Mean Dave @ Oakland Art Murmur [Paraphrase]
"This is a night of people digging themselves out of holes."
— Dave Ross @ Club Deluxe/Live at Deluxe [Paraphrase]