"The economy is so shitty I heard it’s going to take three to tango. I found out that the opposite of “forward” is “Hayward”."

Jason Dove @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase. Full Set: Here @ 39:12]

"A plane hit a building. We got to watch it on TV in class. My teacher cried. [I] went home [after] an hour. And they’re swearing on TV. If you’re saying that’s not the coolest thing in the world when you’re in the 5th grade, then fuck you."

George Cruickshank explaining childish sociopathy during 9/11 @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]

"I JUST READ A BOOK recent… [corrects self] Well, I listened to a book recently. Audio books, it’s the bomb; get all of the juice but none of the squeezing."

Stephen Furey @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase. Full Set: Here @ 34:35]

"[Boyfriends] can say anything they want and I won’t want talk to them, if it’s during Game of Thrones. ‘Don’t Talk During Game of Thrones’, those are my house words. They Greyjoy’s are ‘We Do Not Sow’. WE DO NOT TALK!"

Allison Mick @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase. Full Set: Here @ 15:35]

"It’s funny that the only thing people in San Francisco talk about are the 49ers and gentrification because 1849 was the year San Francisco became gentrified."

Dro @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]

Favorite Things of Last Night: Storking Comedy (1/2/2014)


magic at the stork club 

Favorite Things of Last Night: Stork Club (12/26/2013)

[It’s a Boxing Day Miracle! We went Boston-Style (so I didn’t have to stand up more than a couple of times), I saw a flippin’ magic show from a fake grandmother and I got to sing the Mortal Kombat song. Can’t wait for 2014.]

"Let’s talk about “going Dutch”. I once heard a woman say she wouldn’t let a man pay for her because she’s a feminist. Lady, he’s still going to think you’re inferior whether you pay or not."

— Alyssa Westerlund @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]

A no band, long night at Stork Club got weird (as always) albeit in an entirely foreign way. My little brother performed stand-up comedy for the first time. I’m not the funniest in my family. I was never perceived as a potential comedian by my family, too quiet and bookish. Ortavius on the other hand, had the natural clowning affability associated with the collective unconsciousness’ projection of “comedy”. I celebrated my 4th year of stage-standing on 12/3. My brother, four years my junior, debuted on 12/12. It was fun watching something so new and familiar, the shakiness and awkward first steps, as a grizzled old host on the sidelines. I have no idea if the great experiment will continue with my young kin, but I’m glad I finally have something to be older-brotherly about for my precocious little twerp. Let the nepotism commence!