"The economy is so shitty I heard it’s going to take three to tango. I found out that the opposite of “forward” is “Hayward”."
— Jason Dove @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase. Full Set: Here @ 39:12]
"A plane hit a building. We got to watch it on TV in class. My teacher cried. [I] went home [after] an hour. And they’re swearing on TV. If you’re saying that’s not the coolest thing in the world when you’re in the 5th grade, then fuck you."
— George Cruickshank explaining childish sociopathy during 9/11 @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]
"I JUST READ A BOOK recent… [corrects self] Well, I listened to a book recently. Audio books, it’s the bomb; get all of the juice but none of the squeezing."
— Stephen Furey @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase. Full Set: Here @ 34:35]
"[Boyfriends] can say anything they want and I won’t want talk to them, if it’s during Game of Thrones. ‘Don’t Talk During Game of Thrones’, those are my house words. They Greyjoy’s are ‘We Do Not Sow’. WE DO NOT TALK!"
— Allison Mick @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase. Full Set: Here @ 15:35]
"It’s funny that the only thing people in San Francisco talk about are the 49ers and gentrification because 1849 was the year San Francisco became gentrified."
— Dro @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]
"Let’s talk about “going Dutch”. I once heard a woman say she wouldn’t let a man pay for her because she’s a feminist. Lady, he’s still going to think you’re inferior whether you pay or not."
— Alyssa Westerlund @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]