"A plane hit a building. We got to watch it on TV in class. My teacher cried. [I] went home [after] an hour. And they’re swearing on TV. If you’re saying that’s not the coolest thing in the world when you’re in the 5th grade, then fuck you."

George Cruickshank explaining childish sociopathy during 9/11 @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]

"I JUST READ A BOOK recent… [corrects self] Well, I listened to a book recently. Audio books, it’s the bomb; get all of the juice but none of the squeezing."

Stephen Furey @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase. Full Set: Here @ 34:35]

"[Boyfriends] can say anything they want and I won’t want talk to them, if it’s during Game of Thrones. ‘Don’t Talk During Game of Thrones’, those are my house words. They Greyjoy’s are ‘We Do Not Sow’. WE DO NOT TALK!"

Allison Mick @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase. Full Set: Here @ 15:35]

"It’s funny that the only thing people in San Francisco talk about are the 49ers and gentrification because 1849 was the year San Francisco became gentrified."

Dro @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]


Courting Sketchfest: 1/31. Storking Comedy @ Lost Weekend Video [5 Days Until Fest]
[“Thank you for your submission…” I’m done. I’ve paid my dues, finalized my information, and now I wait. 
CUT TO: Naked, crying facedown on my couch. A Harry Potter party — that I’m invited to — is rumbling below me but I’m too depressed to walk down the stairs of my apartment complex. 
PREVIOUSLY: “I got into Sketchfest,” said a respected peer. “I’m so excited for Sketchfest,” said a less-respected peer. My face is taut with a false smile. Facebook scrolls down filled with elations and congratulations, I recheck my e-mail, still devoid of… 
CUT TO: Naked, crying facedown on my couch. I’ve worked too hard. I’m too unique to be left out. Blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda; the cold front of my internal angst clashes with the hot front of prideful indignation. 
NOW: I’m performing at my first SF Sketchfest, at my own creation, at my favorite venue in the city. I’ve written an self-interview. I’ve made a Facebook event. I have a great line-up: Ever Mainard, Ivan Hernandez, Johnny Taylor, Cameron Vannini and Adam Newman. Still, afraid to celebrate because I’d hate to jinx, overhype, be bigger than my unassuming demeanor. Afraid to ask for help, love, committment, patronage, support, friendship or half the enthusiasm I give freely to any other creative mind. Afraid of the couch I’m currently sitting on. Click the link for tickets!]

Courting Sketchfest: 1/31. Storking Comedy @ Lost Weekend Video [5 Days Until Fest]

[“Thank you for your submission…” I’m done. I’ve paid my dues, finalized my information, and now I wait.

CUT TO: Naked, crying facedown on my couch. A Harry Potter party — that I’m invited to — is rumbling below me but I’m too depressed to walk down the stairs of my apartment complex.

PREVIOUSLY: “I got into Sketchfest,” said a respected peer. “I’m so excited for Sketchfest,” said a less-respected peer. My face is taut with a false smile. Facebook scrolls down filled with elations and congratulations, I recheck my e-mail, still devoid of…

CUT TO: Naked, crying facedown on my couch. I’ve worked too hard. I’m too unique to be left out. Blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda; the cold front of my internal angst clashes with the hot front of prideful indignation.

NOW: I’m performing at my first SF Sketchfest, at my own creation, at my favorite venue in the city. I’ve written an self-interview. I’ve made a Facebook event. I have a great line-up: Ever Mainard, Ivan Hernandez, Johnny Taylor, Cameron Vannini and Adam Newman. Still, afraid to celebrate because I’d hate to jinx, overhype, be bigger than my unassuming demeanor. Afraid to ask for help, love, committment, patronage, support, friendship or half the enthusiasm I give freely to any other creative mind. Afraid of the couch I’m currently sitting on. Click the link for tickets!]

Favorite Things of Last Night: Storking Comedy (1/2/2014)

femininenoise:

magic at the stork club 

Favorite Things of Last Night: Stork Club (12/26/2013)

[It’s a Boxing Day Miracle! We went Boston-Style (so I didn’t have to stand up more than a couple of times), I saw a flippin’ magic show from a fake grandmother and I got to sing the Mortal Kombat song. Can’t wait for 2014.]

"Let’s talk about “going Dutch”. I once heard a woman say she wouldn’t let a man pay for her because she’s a feminist. Lady, he’s still going to think you’re inferior whether you pay or not."

— Alyssa Westerlund @ Stork Club/Storking Comedy [Paraphrase]

Guest Host Richard Toomer and Jesse Elias talk about candy, video games, and the measure of a century’s worth.