"‘I can’t, it’s a union thing, I’ve had too many dicks today’"

— Dave DeLuca dramatizing prostitutes’ excuses @ Massés Bar and Grill [Paraphrase]

"‘Sometimes you gotta drink when the juice is ready’"

— Keon Polee on nonsensical advice @ Massés Sports Bar and Grill

"You guys ready for my high self esteem comedy?"

— Amy Miller @ Massés Sports Bar and Grill [Paraphrase]

9/7/ Bryan Moore @ Masses Sports Bar & Grill. 2721 North Main St. Walnut Creek. Free. 8 PM. Feat Reggie Matthews, Melanie Bega and Greg Asdourian. Hosted by Chris Riggins.

[Cheap Beer. Pool Tables. AND…. great comedy]

9/7/ Bryan Moore @ Masses Sports Bar & Grill. 2721 North Main St. Walnut Creek. Free. 8 PM. Feat Reggie Matthews, Melanie Bega and Greg Asdourian. Hosted by Chris Riggins.

[Cheap Beer. Pool Tables. AND…. great comedy]

"I’ve performed in front of empty chairs and tables all over this country… I’m glad they didn’t turn off the TV’s so that I can watch guys my size make millions of dollars. I’m getting paid in chicken strips. I should have done something with my life!"

— Kevin Munroe @ Masses Sports Bar and Grill [Paraphrase]

Mimi Vilmenay and Audience in "Origins"

  • Mimi: You guys, what do you think I am? Just shout it out.
  • Audience: Caribbean!
  • Mimi: Close.
  • Audience: Jewish!
  • Mimi: No... I wish. Aw, to be one of the chosen people.
"I would be a gross homosexual. I’m already a gross heterosexual."

— James Fluty @ Masses Sports Bar and Grill [Paraphrase]

Hey guys. I’m performing at Masses (2721 North Main St.) in Walnut Creek @ 9 pm today. No Cover, Cheap Beer. Some of my favorites are on the bill so its bound to be a good time.

Hey guys. I’m performing at Masses (2721 North Main St.) in Walnut Creek @ 9 pm today. No Cover, Cheap Beer. Some of my favorites are on the bill so its bound to be a good time.

Wednesday Comedy News: 7/20/2011

Gastalt Comedy Showcase. 3159 16th St. SF. 9 PM. No Cover. Hosted by Joe Gorman and David Cairns. [Good food and drink available as well.]

W. Kamau Bell & Kevin Avery @punchlinesf . 444 Battery St. SF. 8 PM. $15. Featuring Janine Brito.


Sylvan Productions Open-Mic @ Dirty Trix. 408 Clement St. SF. 9 PM.

Blue Room @ The Stud. 9th & Harrison St. 9 PM. Free. [Word on the street is that a documentary camera crew will be filming this night. Quick, somebody call Sweet Gale!]

Ladies Night at the Brainwash. Hosted by Kristee Ono. Sign Ups: 7:30. Show: 8ish. 

The Business @ Dark Room Theater. 2263 Mission Street. $5. 8 PM. Featuring Chris Garcia, Bucky Sinister & Guests: Greg Edwards and Paco Romane

No Alex? No Sean? No problem! The Business welcomes two exciting guests from near and far to hold down the fort with Chris and Bucky this week. From Los Angeles, we welcome San Francisco expatriate Greg Edwards, and from just a few blocks away in the Mission, we welcome Paco Romane.

Greg Edwards is a native of Virginia who cut his comedy teeth in the Bay. Now he’s brought his one-liners, handsome good looks, and southern charm to Los Angeles, but makes a triumphant return to the Business this week. Paco Romane is a comedian and actor, a member of the sketch group Killing My Lobster, and the producer of The Romane Event, a monthly comedy showcase at the Make-Out Room.

As always, the show is just five dollars and burrito-eating is tolerated - nay, encouraged!

Wednesday Night Comedy @ Masses Sports Bar and Grill. 2721 North Main St. Walnut Creek. 9 PM. 21+. No Cover. Featuring Headliner Greg Asdourian, Ellery Urquhart, Butch Escobar, Dave DeLuca. Hosted by David Studebaker.

Greg Asdourian and Marga Gomez

Greg Asdourian and Marga Gomez